I never planned on becoming an “extended breastfeeder”. It was a struggle for me to breastfeed in the beginning, with my newborn having difficulty latching and causing sore nipples. However, we persisted and around three months, breastfeeding became easier. It wasn’t because I had mastered the art through advice, research, and practice. It was simply because my baby’s mouth grew bigger and they could latch without effort.
After that, breastfeeding became effortless. It became a soothing mechanism when they were ill or upset, a way to comfort them when they fell over or couldn’t sleep. My mammary glands became like magic bullets, able to calm and console my child in any situation. But as time went on, I started to notice that many of my breastfeeding friends were weaning their babies. The breastfeeding rate drops significantly after six months and even more so after one year.
I realized I was becoming a minority, with what I was doing no longer considered “normal”, especially in public. It didn’t bother me until a friend, who had stopped breastfeeding at six months, remarked with surprise that I was still breastfeeding. Another friend made a reference to a TV show when my child fumbled with my shirt. And there were relatives who had cooed over my newborn but felt embarrassed when my 2-and-a-half-year-old nursed. There was a clear implication that breastfeeding after a certain age was “icky” and strange.
Despite the overwhelming evidence of the nutritional and health benefits of breastfeeding, there is a stigma attached to breastfeeding for an extended period. Breastfeeding provides comfort and emotional connection for both child and mother, contributing to the child’s emotional resilience in adulthood. But facing a judgmental world while engaging in something as vulnerable as nursing can be challenging. Stares and frowns from strangers wore me down, leading me to nurse in the privacy of my home rather than in public.
Thankfully, I found support through breastfeeding groups where I met like-minded mothers. Having a community made a huge difference in restoring my confidence and aligning with my own sense of normalcy. I became comfortable nursing my child in public once again, even without the support of my network. Of course, comments and judgments still came, especially after the age of three. People questioned how long I would continue and made snide remarks. But I learned to ignore the looks and reply assertively.
The underlying discomfort and distaste for breastfeeding beyond infancy stem from the cultural perception of breasts as sexual objects. In some cultures, breastfeeding is seen as essential for creating a bond of kinship, while in others, it is viewed as perverse and embarrassing. Paradigms around breastfeeding need to shift so that the acceptable duration of breastfeeding is determined by what suits each mother and child. By normalizing public breastfeeding, we can alleviate the fear of judgment that discourages many mothers from breastfeeding.
The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for up to two years and beyond, but cultural norms, along with various challenges, hinder this practice in North America. We need to eradicate or minimize the social shaming of breastfeeding mothers, especially those who breastfeed beyond the deemed acceptable duration. Ultimately, the choice of feeding method is up to each mother, and breastfeeding should be respected regardless of duration or location. I will continue to nurse until my child is ready to stop, despite any judgment that may come my way.
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