Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming Unhelpful Behaviors
Anxiety is an incredibly prevalent yet highly undesirable emotion that most of us would rather avoid. It can be likened to a smoke alarm, according to Natasha Reynolds, a psychotherapist at Bloom Psychology & Wellness in Toronto. While a smoke alarm serves to alert us to real danger and ensure our safety, it can also go off for trivial reasons, much like a smoke alarm sounding off due to burnt toast. Similarly, our brain’s threat detection system can perceive non-threatening situations as dangerous, triggering anxiety responses that may not be warranted.
When our anxiety “smoke alarm” goes off frequently for non-threatening situations, it may be a sign that we need support and tools to navigate our stress response. Additionally, certain thoughts, behaviors, and actions can exacerbate our anxiety and lead to more frequent alarm triggering. Here are some of these unhelpful behaviors:
Black-And-White Thinking
One common unhelpful thinking pattern is black-and-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking. This involves viewing situations as either good or bad, without considering the gray areas. For example, if you make a mistake in an email, you may automatically assume that you’re incompetent and that the recipient shares this belief. In reality, making a mistake doesn’t define your competence, and the recipient may not even notice it. These negative thoughts can bring you down and make future interactions with this person stressful, leading to anxiety. It’s important to challenge these thoughts and recognize the shades of gray in situations.
Avoidance
Contrary to popular belief, avoidance is a behavior that can make anxiety worse. Jennifer Anders, a psychologist based in Colorado, explains that avoiding situations, places, or people that trigger anxiety may temporarily alleviate the anxiety in the short term. However, over time, avoidance fuels the cycle of anxiety and reinforces the body’s anxious response. Instead of completely avoiding anxiety-provoking situations, it is better to approach them incrementally, allowing yourself to gradually build tolerance and overcome anxiety.
Seeking Reassurance
Constantly seeking reassurance from others or relying on Google to alleviate anxiety is a common behavior that can contribute to increased anxiety. While seeking reassurance may offer temporary relief, it perpetuates a negative feedback loop, where reassurance becomes necessary for feeling okay. It is best to refrain from seeking excessive reassurance to avoid long-term anxiety escalation.
Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing involves imagining the worst-case scenario and believing it’s the most likely outcome. This thinking pattern leads to overestimating the situation and underestimating one’s ability to cope with it, often resulting in anxiety. Challenging these catastrophic thoughts by considering alternative outcomes and recognizing your strengths in dealing with challenging situations can help alleviate anxiety.
Negative Self-Talk
The way we talk to ourselves greatly impacts our anxiety levels. Negative self-talk, where we constantly put ourselves down or doubt our abilities, contributes to heightened anxiety. Becoming aware of our self-talk and using more compassionate and supportive language can help alleviate anxiety.
People-Pleasing
Constantly prioritizing others’ needs and opinions over our own can contribute to anxiety. Neglecting our own needs and boundaries in favor of pleasing others creates discomfort and anxiety within ourselves. It is essential to develop self-worth and set boundaries that prioritize our well-being.
To overcome these anxiety-inducing behaviors, practicing grounding skills can be beneficial. Engaging in activities like walking or exercising can help lower heart rate and induce a sense of ease. Mindfulness skills, such as connecting to the present moment through our five senses, can also aid in reducing anxiety. Belly breathing, where you take deep intentional breaths, can promote calmness by increasing oxygen supply to the brain. Finally, labeling these unhelpful behaviors when they occur and challenging negative thoughts in the moment can help cultivate mindfulness and reduce anxiety.
If these behaviors significantly impact your anxiety levels, seeking the support of a therapist can provide valuable guidance and assistance in overcoming them.
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