Striking a balance between being discerning and open-minded can be a challenge when swiping through dating profiles. If you reject anyone who doesn’t meet your ideal profile, you may never swipe right. Conversely, having no standards can lead to disappointing dates. To narrow down your search, consider omitting profiles that display negativity.
According to Rachel DeAlto, Match.com’s chief dating expert, negativity is one of the biggest red flags for a dating profile. She explains that she would choose a person living in their parents’ basement over a person with a negative attitude. So, what does a negative profile look like? Bios that include phrases like “don’t contact me if” or “I don’t want to meet anyone who likes” usually belong to someone who is not in a good dating headspace.
DeAlto warns that individuals who seem to have a bad attitude towards dating apps – for example, those using phrases like “why am I even here” – are not ideal partners. Even when used humorously, a cynical mindset is exhausting. She suggests that connecting with someone in a negative state can lead to heartache and failure.
If looking for a long-term partner, consider matching with someone who lists what they want rather than what they don’t want on their profile. This suggests that they are in a better headspace and also helps you determine their values. Successful couples typically align on three core values: finances, family, and lifestyle. Although not explicitly stated, someone who frequently posts pictures with their family or mentions participating in intramural sports may value these areas too.
Ultimately, DeAlto advises that people should give others a chance, especially if they have similar values. It’s more important than a quippy or sarcastic bio. If they align with your big-picture traits, it’s worth attempting to build a connection with them.
Don’t forget to remain positive and keep an open-mind when swiping through dating profiles. Negativity is a turnoff and won’t help build a lasting relationship.
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