At 34 years old, Sarah Brill has accomplished many goals in her life. She had a successful career as a social media editor in Dubai and immersed herself in South-East Asian culture during her time in Thailand. Now back in the UK, she runs a successful business as a financial coach and owns her own apartment. However, there are still a few boxes left unchecked in Sarah’s personal life. She’s single and hasn’t had children, but what’s more surprising is that she’s never had a boyfriend.
Sarah admits that she feels awkward admitting this fact. She has always hoped to find her “forever person” in her 30s, but it just hasn’t happened yet. She believes that the modern dating world is to blame for her lack of a relationship. In the past, dating was simpler – boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, and have children. But now, it’s much more complicated.
Today, young people use terms like “seeing each other” instead of “dating.” There’s an assumption that both parties are free to date other people. This stage is often referred to as a “situationship,” where two people go on dates and have fun but are not in a committed relationship. It can be exhausting and disheartening for someone like Sarah who is looking for something more meaningful.
Online dating has also introduced the paradox of choice, where having many options makes it harder to commit to one person. It can take months to progress from a situationship to exclusivity, and even then, being exclusive doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a relationship.
Sarah has found herself stuck in situationships rather than relationships because she often hopes to change a man’s mind about commitment. She admits that she’s wasted a lot of time and energy on men who were not invested in her, which has affected her confidence.
This prolonged dating process, combined with the rise of looks-based dating apps and the decrease in face-to-face interactions, has made it harder for young people to find successful relationships. A recent survey showed that chance encounters are less common for younger generations, with only one in 20 people in their 20s meeting their partner by chance at a bar or elsewhere.
Dennie Smith believes that the negative experiences with online dating have made women like Sarah wary of men and less likely to settle. The constant search for someone better can prevent them from reaching the deeper, more meaningful stages of a relationship.
Sarah has been on dating apps for the past decade but has yet to find a serious relationship. The pandemic put her dating life on hold, and she has found herself in situationships that have left her feeling lonely and questioning herself. She longs to find someone like her parents, who have been happily married for almost 40 years. But despite her loneliness and biological clock ticking, Sarah remains optimistic and continues to put effort into the dating scene.
Anna McPaul, a 33-year-old dental nurse from South London, also struggles with the dating world. She has experienced ghosting, being friend-zoned, and receiving explicit pictures. The whole experience has made her feel bad about herself and question what is wrong with her.
Both Sarah and Anna have faced challenges in finding meaningful relationships, but they remain hopeful and determined to find a connection. They know they have great lives and focus on the possibilities that lie ahead.
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