- Throughout my life, I have always prided myself on my independence, even though I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past seven years.
- When I had the opportunity to travel alone for a month, I initially felt guilty about leaving my boyfriend behind.
- However, I soon realized that traveling alone is essential because it reminds us that we exist outside of our relationships.
Throughout my life, I have prided myself on my independence. It’s a trait I hold dear, even though it comes naturally to me. I enjoy doing things on my own, whether it’s going to the movies, traveling, or making decisions. When I was younger, I used to proclaim loudly that I wasn’t a “relationship person.” However, I am now in a committed and fulfilling relationship that has lasted seven years. We have become each other’s emergency contacts, share a home and bills, and even have a dog. Despite being deeply intertwined, our relationship counselor has confirmed that we both maintain our independence.
However, as we spend more time together, especially during the pandemic where we were together 24/7, our independence naturally erodes. So when I had the chance to travel and work abroad for a month, I hesitated. I felt guilty about leaving my boyfriend alone, thinking it would be rude. While I knew I would miss him, my fear was that by being away for an extended period and facing spotty internet access, it might feel like I was taking a break not just from my own life but from him as well. In reality, this was not the case at all.
Despite my concerns, my boyfriend encouraged me to go. He understood that I had always wanted to study abroad during college but never got the chance. He was more than willing to take care of our dog and our life in Los Angeles while I embarked on this adventure with two friends, working on an olive farm. The modern world often revolves around romantic partnerships, with assumptions about buying houses, celebrating milestones, and planning vacations as a couple. Rarely do we celebrate the anniversary of a close friendship or make important decisions with a best friend. While romantic partnerships are wonderful, it’s important not to lose sight of our individuality.
While it’s easy to become the person our partner wants us to be as we grow together, I believe it’s vital to maintain our individuality. Taking this trip served as a reminder that I exist outside of my relationship. I can pursue risky, selfish, brave, or silly endeavors without always having my partner by my side. It reinforced that, while we have built a life together, I am not defined solely by my relationship. These trips give me the opportunity to rediscover who I was before I met my partner and who I still am. I never want to lose that sense of self.
Despite feeling guilty leaving my boyfriend behind, my previous solo trip made me realize that traveling actually strengthens our relationship. However, when the opportunity to travel again arose this year, I still hesitated to bring it up. I wondered if another month apart would be too much for him, but once again, he was incredibly supportive. In fact, he was even more reassuring and enthusiastic this time around.
A relationship as significant as ours can never truly be left behind. Even when physically apart, our loved ones leave a lasting impact on us. Time spent apart allows us to rediscover ourselves and find solace in our own company. However, I must emphasize that I am eagerly looking forward to my boyfriend’s return. While I cherish the time alone, I am excited to reunite and share new stories and experiences with him.
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