As I approach my mid-40s, I had imagined a life filled with idyllic scenes and luxurious experiences. A picturesque house overlooking a charming village green, with wisteria adorning the door, an Aga stove in the kitchen, and a leisurely Labrador snoozing in the book-filled study. Every summer, my family and I would venture to beautiful locations in France, indulging in moules frites under vine-covered terraces. In the winter months, we would embrace the ski slopes of Kitzbühel or Courmayeur, donning our ski goggles for thrilling adventures.
As time went on, I envisioned exploring various private schools for our children, with headteachers boasting about the Mandarin club and Olympic-style sports facilities. Once they completed their A-levels, we would bid them farewell as they embarked on their university journey, providing financial support for their accommodation and a little extra for beer money. Meanwhile, we diligently saved for our retirement, dreaming of new experiences such as antique collecting and river cruises where blue cheese and red wine flowed abundantly.
This is what I had expected, as most of us believe our lives will follow a similar trajectory to that of our parents, if not a step above. However, my generation, born to the famous “baby boomers” of the 30s and 40s, is facing what I like to call “The Great Expectation Shift”. With a sluggish economy, a cost-of-living crisis, and skyrocketing mortgage rates, the notion that hard work would lead to a lifestyle comparable to that of our parents is diminishing.
The reality of this expectation shift hit me when I recently learned that housing prices have plummeted by up to £20,000 in the past month. While it’s true that what goes up must come down, this correction creates a significant disparity between baby boomers and us, particularly for those of us trying to sell our starter homes due to growing families.
In the delightful 1970s, my parents, a trainee architect and nurse in their twenties, were able to purchase a three-story townhouse near London’s Hampstead Heath for a mere £20,000. According to the Institute for Fiscal Studies, over 60% of individuals born in the 50s and 60s owned homes by the age of 30. In contrast, only 36% of individuals like me, born in the 1980s, were able to achieve home ownership by that age. In fact, housing affordability is at its lowest point since 1880.
While I acknowledge that my own home, a modest beige pebble-dashed semi-detached house, is not an envy-inducing property, I can’t help but feel it doesn’t measure up to the homes I grew up in. In the 1990s, thanks in part to government assistance schemes, my single mother was able to send all four of her children to private school. However, between 1991 and 2016, school fees skyrocketed by 550%, making private education unattainable for most middle-income families. My mother was also able to financially support our university education, as three of us benefited from a time when the state covered tuition fees.
Though our vacations may not have been extravagant, my family and I used to embark on annual trips by ferry or plane. This year, however, we managed only three days in a caravan in Weymouth. To afford an overseas trip for a family of five in 2023, one would have to resort to selling a kidney on the dark web.
As for saving for retirement, it’s a daunting task. Every penny is being absorbed by our monthly mortgage payments. Salary growth has stalled or declined compared to that of our parents, which has a significant impact on raising a family. In previous generations, it was feasible to support a family on a single income, but nowadays, it’s incredibly challenging for most.
I write about this not out of bitterness, but rather to acknowledge the new reality that seems to be a semi-permanent fixture in our lives. As the World Bank recently warned, today’s young people will not enjoy the same standard of living as their parents unless there is a miraculous surge in economic growth.
Fortunately, my young children, aged five, four, and two, are blissfully unaware of the quality of our vacations or the absence of branded butter in our household. With the wisdom of their youthful innocence, they understand that it’s not the value of our home that matters, but the presence of our loved ones within it.
In regards to festivals, I applaud Princess Kate for embracing the atmosphere and joining in the festivities. However, personally, I have no desire to relive my last festival experience at Reading Festival in 1997, where Metallica headlined and an unfortunate incident involving a line of portaloos occurred. I hope Her Royal Highness did not encounter similar discomforts.
Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, has been spotted wearing a brainwave frequency-slowing patch. While I mean no offense, it may not be the wisest choice at this crucial point in her career. Instead, I recommend a simpler and safer “emergency calming device” that can make all your worries disappear. I suggest indulging in a Greggs sausage roll, guaranteed to provide comfort in stressful times.
In light of recent dog attacks on young children, it’s time to consider reintroducing dog licenses. The number of canines has increased significantly, and there is a growing fascination with intimidating breeds like the American Bully XL. By implementing dog licenses, we can foster a sense of responsibility among pet owners and ensure safer communities.
Instead of placing warning cards in cigarette packets to deter smoking, why not develop an app that shows individuals how their faces will age rapidly from years of tobacco use? Vanity often motivates people more than concerns for their health, so utilizing this approach may be more effective in curbing smoking habits.
The super-rich have started indulging in private jet “cruises,” traveling from city to city with a select few companions rather than opting for massive cruise ships. While some may find this appealing, I cannot imagine anything worse than being trapped at 40,000 feet with entitled individuals complaining about the wine served, especially considering the £130,000 price tag. However, it is still a more budget-friendly choice compared to the proposed £169,000 cost the government wants to spend on each migrant sent to Rwanda.
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