DeSantis Claus is Running This Town
Oh! Pay close attention!
Do not dare to invade.
Hold onto your hats!
Allow me to explain:
DeSantis Claus is in charge of this town.
He has created a list,
And yes, your name is on it.
He will discover who leans left and who leans right;
DeSantis Claus is in control.
He knows who you sleep with,
He knows if you embrace social justice.
And by the way, do not utter the word “gay.”
Take it from Disney — it’s not a joke!
Oh! Be cautious!
Do not dare to challenge.
No matter the reason, do not terminate.
DeSantis Claus is dominating this town.
The schools have been informed
Of what they can and cannot teach,
All in the name of “freedom of speech.”
DeSantis Claus is dictating this town.
Curriculums are cleansed of any unpleasant truths.
Yes, we may have owned slaves,
But our intentions were pure.
DeSantis Claus is shaping this town.
The master of Mar-a-Lago
Is seething with anger.
The jester from Queens still possesses the power
To restrain this Son of the South.
Oh! Beware!
You must comply.
If you dislike it, then leave!
Return to the North. Wave goodbye!
DeSantis Claus is ruining this town.
David Sadkin
Bradenton, Fla.
N.R.A. Favorite Things
(to the tune of “My Favorite Things”)
Compact pistols and shooting techniques,
Shiny copper casings and piston carbines,
Walnut gunstocks with swivel sling studs,
These are a few of our favorite things.
Pump-action shotguns and Lugers with toggle locks,
The sound of a bullet seating in a Ruger,
Geese descending when they’ve been hit,
These are a few of our favorite things.
When the laws are strict,
When ammunition is scarce,
When there’s talk of gun control,
We simply remember the Second Amendment,
And then we can reload.
Gun barrels glistening with stainless steel,
Diamond-studded pistol grips and patent holsters,
Night vision scopes that turn everything green,
These are a few of our favorite things.
Butt plates resting on shoulders, cheek pieces to cuddle,
Suppressors to reduce muzzle flashes,
Tactical weapons with large magazines,
These are a few of our favorite things.
When there are no streetlights,
When the police are absent,
When we’re feeling down,
We find solace in our firearms,
And then we feel better.
Martin Settle
Charlotte, N.C.
Send Back the Gowns
(to the tune of “Send In the Clowns”)
Isn’t he wealthy?
Isn’t it obvious?
How Clarence Thomas accepts bribes,
Year after year.
Send back his judicial gowns,
Is he alone?
Six out of nine,
Writing opinions to crush
Our rights and freedoms.
Yet, they wear their prestigious gowns,
Send back their judicial gowns,
When will they stop shutting the doors,
When will you realize that you could be next?
Judging humanity’s struggles without ethics or care,
Voting far right,
Nothing is fair.
Is this all a charade?
Limit their terms,
Send their robes to the dry cleaners,
Cleanse away the corruption.
Do not forgive Lou Dobbs,
Terminate their positions,
Send back their judicial gowns.
Cliff Yudell
Asheville, N.C.
ChatGPT
I doubt I will ever witness
A marvel like ChatGPT.
Type “Write a sonnet,” and it generates
A work comparable to Robert Burns.
Type “Write an ode,” and in no time,
It produces results to rival William Blake’s.
“Write humorous verse,” and suddenly,
Wry humor reminiscent of Ogden Nash appears.
Poems were traditionally crafted by foolish individuals like me,
But now we utilize ChatGPT’s capabilities.
Jacob Stulberg
New York
FTX
(inspired by Poe’s “The Raven”)
Once upon a chilling night,
As I contemplated a new theory,
How could I invest my money,
Money in the trading market?
Charlie Munger warned me against it,
Even Buffett cautioned me I would regret it.
FTX, you truly deceived me!
Beware the fraudulent individual at your doorstep!
I disregarded all caution,
Trusting in the cryptocurrency vision,
But now I’m left with nothing,
My funds cannot be restored.
I ponder my terrible decision,
Tormented by self-blame,
These criminals should be imprisoned,
I will never be a victim again!
Anna Burns
Carrollton, Va.
It’s De-Lusion, (It’s De-Lovely)
He deceived his donors and Congress alike,
Fabricating the claim that he’s of Jewish descent.
It’s a delusion,
It’s absurd,
It’s insane.
George Santos campaigned on a web of lies,
And now we discover it’s all a thin disguise.
It’s a delusion,
It’s absurd,
It’s insane.
His educational background was fabricated,
The facts were distorted,
No relatives perished in the Holocaust.
It’s a delusion,
It’s absurd,
It’s insane.
He created a narrative to boast,
But conveniently forgot about his past mistakes.
Now I wish this were just an anecdote,
But he’s now in Congress with the power to vote!
It’s a delusion,
It’s absurd,
It’s insane,
It’s deteriorating,
It’s deplorable,
It’s delimiting.
Arthur H. Rosen
Ventnor, N.J.
(Based on Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18)
Shall I compare thee to a Facebook post?
Thou art more interactive and volatile.
Harsh winds shake thee from coast to coast,
And Elon Musk’s ownership impresses with style.
At times too controversial, the eye of commerce shines,
And often your influence is diminished.
Share prices tumble and decline,
By chance or due to Elon’s unpredictable actions.
But your true existence shall not fade,
Nor shall the memory of your birth name.
It shall not be misplaced by him,
Lost to all of humanity.
As long as people breathe and Musk causes disruption,
Life continues, even if Twitter transforms into X.
Geoffrey Bye
Gilford, Conn.
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