Name: Zombies
Age: Earliest mentions date back to 2016.
Appearance: They emerge suddenly and belatedly.
Is this about being stalked by the undead? Yes, in a way.
When they rise, half-decomposed, from their graves and stumble through the streets at dawn, smashing your house windows? It’s more likely they would send you a text.
Oh. Or they might suddenly appear and like something you posted on Instagram.
Am I still supposed to shoot them in the head? Because that seems a bit extreme. You’re better off just ignoring them.
This isn’t like any of the movies I’ve seen on this subject. That’s because this is real life, a perilous part of modern dating.
So “zombie” is a dating term? Exactly, it’s a related concept to ghosting.
Ghosting? Surely you’re familiar with ghosting – when someone you’re romantically involved with suddenly disappears, both in person and online, without explanation?
Yes, intimately. I just didn’t know it had a name. Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears weeks, months, or even years later, also without explanation.
How does that even work? Imagine someone you were involved with abruptly cutting off all contact, not responding to your texts, and disappearing from social media.
I don’t have to imagine it. What would you do if that same person texted you four months later and asked to meet up?
“Sure, is 7.30 too early?” That’s wrong – you shouldn’t condone such behavior.
Shouldn’t I just be glad they’re alive and no longer trapped? Zombieing can be more casually incidental – maybe someone you were dating vanished from your life, and then two years later tries to connect on LinkedIn.
So they want career advice? The point is, they don’t even have the courtesy to remain ghosted.
What turns people into zombies? It’s likely the virtual nature of online communication – even after acting poorly, reconnecting is easy and carries little consequence.
I thought you had to get bitten by another zombie. That too.
What should I do if an old flame who ghosted me suddenly zombies me? The most important thing is to trust your instincts.
My instinct is to drive over and stand beneath their window all night. In that case, it’s crucial to ignore your instinct.
Do say: “Get lost.”
Don’t say: “Hi, just texting to see if you were maybe trying to zombie me and lost my number.”
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