- I’ve always been fascinated with twins, and although I don’t have twins of my own, I ended up marrying a twin.
- My husband has a twin sister.
- After getting married to a twin, I learned five important lessons about twins.
Twins are inherently special and always capture attention. Due to these notable reasons, I have always been captivated by multiple births.
During my childhood, I held the aspiration of either befriending a set of twins or giving birth to my own. Although neither of these desires came true, something unexpected did happen. I ended up marrying a twin.
Initially, I had mixed feelings, but things turned out great
I vividly remember the first time I met my husband’s twin sister. I was anxious because I had no prior experience navigating this kind of relationship. To add to the excitement, I had already proposed to her brother, Drew, on live television in front of four million viewers. It was on the KTLA Morning News, where I worked as a Los Angeles publicist. The show’s producer had informed me that on Valentine’s Day of a leap year, women could propose, so I took the chance.
That first night, Drew took his sister and me to a lovely Italian restaurant near Hancock Park. I found Michele, who worked as a corporate trial attorney in Philadelphia, to be open, warm, and delightful. The two of us had an engaging conversation while Drew beamed and remained mostly silent. Towards the end of the evening, I asked Michele to be one of my bridesmaids at our upcoming wedding.
At our wedding reception a year later, I approached Michele and asked, “Could I borrow your bouquet for the cake table? The photographer wants to take a few shots.”
“Oh, I gave it away at the church after the ceremony — to someone who could enjoy it,” she replied, turning to one of her young nephews who was in tears. I turned away, trying to hide my own tears. My heart raced as negative thoughts filled my mind. Why couldn’t she enjoy her bouquet? Did she see our wedding as a mourning event? Did she think I would come between her and her brother?
I faced challenges initially, but now we have an incredible bond
I admit that during the first year or two of our marriage, I struggled. I knew I was being petty, but I resented having to share my husband “with another woman.” Fortunately, with time, those feelings faded away. When I became pregnant with our first child, my sister-in-law became an incredibly attentive and caring aunt, despite living on the opposite side of the country. Later, when our daughter arrived, we asked her to be the godmother. Today, my sister-in-law and I have a close bond that we have built together.
Here are my top 5 tips for being married to a twin
1. Support and encourage private time for the twins whenever you visit. While their activities may change over time, their need for privacy will always remain.
2. Understand that twins don’t celebrate “my” birthday, but rather “our” birthday, and they prefer to be together on that day.
3. Address any potential tendency for your spouse to seek relationship advice from their twin. Set boundaries on what your spouse can and cannot share.
4. Be prepared to meet more twins, as your spouse may have a “twin-dar” or twin radar, attracting and connecting with other twins.
5. Recognize that twins share an unbreakable code of silence. The good news is that your spouse will also keep your secrets. Don’t worry about theirs, as those secrets usually revolve around childhood adventures.
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