How to Communicate with Children Without Yelling
Having a tough day can lead parents to yell at their children, but the reality is that yelling can be highly detrimental to both parents and children. A mother of two from Oklahoma, Gwenna Laithland, remembers how she lost her composure when her day went from bad to worse, causing her 6-year-old-daughter to pull away, feeling as though Laithland’s big feelings were too much for her to handle.
Even gentle, responsive parents can find themsleves yelling when their children misbehave or don’t follow directions. But as Laithland discovered, yelling only made things worse. Yelling instigates feelings of fear, and will not necessarily garner a better outcome, especially if it is a response to stress. The unique acoustic signature of a scream alerts others to imminent danger or threats, so it is important to approach the situation with compassion.
Parents should instead provide a clear message to their children to diminish the need to yell. Taking a moment to assess personal triggers for yelling such as messy rooms and tantrums, and adjusting communication methods accordingly is highly beneficial. Yelling can be a sign of personal issues, and understanding these triggers can lead parents to adopting more positive parenting styles. It is suggested to remain calm and composed even in frustrating situations, making children feel respected and understood. By connecting with the child and communicating differently, parents can build a stronger relationship that is based on trust and empathy.
Overall, shifting the parenting style from yelling towards understanding and empathy can foster a healthier and stronger relationship between parents and children.
