Introducing an Exciting Feature on Fox News: Listen to Articles!
Greetings! We have some intriguing news to share with you on this fine Thursday. The Supreme Court has made a groundbreaking decision, ruling that race-based affirmative action programs are no longer constitutional. This program has been in place for an impressive 45 years. It seems that one of the justices recently delved into the Constitution, perhaps for the first time, and was taken aback by what they discovered. It’s been quite some time since the Supreme Court viewed the Constitution as anything other than a mere paper towel for when Biden spills his Ensure. The reason behind this change is what brings us to tonight’s monologue.
Over 150 years have passed since America abolished slavery. However, a recent revelation by Reuters sheds light on an interesting fact: many influential figures in the United States, including former and current presidents, Supreme Court justices, governors, and legislators, are descendants of slave owners. Yes, this list includes Republicans such as Mitch McConnell. I would say he took quite a hit, but we all know that’s not physically possible. Lindsey Graham, James Lankford, and Tom Cotton also make the list. Well, Cotton’s name kind of gave it away. If he ever decides to run for president, the slogan “pick cotton” is probably not going to resonate well in urban areas. And don’t be too surprised, even Democrats like Tammy Duckworth, Jeanne Shaheen, Maggie Hassan, and Liz Warren are part of this list. It must be a difficult realization for these women of color, especially for Liz Warren, who must be wondering, “How? How? How is this possible?” But let’s not forget the most interesting part – every living president, with one exception, is a descendant of slave owners. And I’m sure you’re dying to know who that one exception is. No, it’s not who you’re thinking. Even his ancestors owned slaves, making reparations an awkward subject. And no, it’s definitely not the other person you have in mind. So who is it? It’s true – Donald J. Trump is the only president whose ancestors never partook in the ownership of slaves. Although he may have been harsh with some of his apprentices, I’ll give him that. Ironically, Trump was labeled by the media as the most racist person ever. But does it even matter now? Well, Reuters certainly found it newsworthy. They went through a great deal of effort to investigate those family trees, hoping to uncover fascinating race-related stories. The media craves such content, just like hungry bears crave honey, or like Brian Stelter craves honey himself. So why isn’t it a bigger deal that Trump’s ancestors were not involved in slavery? It’s a noteworthy revelation, considering that during the 2012 presidential election, the media made a fuss about Rick Perry’s hunting ranch, which had a rock with a racial slur painted on it. Perry’s family had covered it up back in the 80s, long before he was even born. Yet, the media treated it as evidence of him being a racist. It seems that every Republican candidate faces accusations of racism, regardless of race. Simply belonging to the party that fought against slavery somehow indicates a desire to bring it back, according to the peculiar media.
This leads us to question why Trump doesn’t receive any credit for having a clean ancestral history. While his family may have engaged in real estate dealings, they never bought or sold fellow human beings. If slavery is deemed a significant historical sin, and if we are expected to repent for the sins committed by our ancestors, why doesn’t Trump receive extra acknowledgment for being free of that connection? Now, this is not to say that you have to like Trump or even think he should be reelected. However, it’s undeniably peculiar that amidst all the diligent research conducted by journalists to uncover facts about influential Americans, Trump’s clean lineage is merely mentioned in passing. It seems like quite the coincidence that the party associated with slavery and the individuals who vote for that party are trying to depict the one person who sat in the White House without any ties to slavery as the worst racist in history. And when the facts don’t fit this predetermined assumption, it’s best to just move on.
The media often claims to want to remind us of our history, but is that truly their intention? Or are they simply digging up ancient history to further divide Americans? And speaking of history, does Trump’s lineage exempt him from discussions of reparations? After all, he can be considered the least racist president in history. The irony of this situation is thicker than my HR file.
So there you have it! An enticing new feature on Fox News, where you can now listen to our articles. Just sit back and enjoy as our content captures your attention, providing you with a fresh perspective on the news and current events. Remember that Greg Gutfeld currently hosts Gutfeld! and is also a co-host on The Five, two highly-rated programs on cable news.
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