Struggles in Washington D.C. to select a new speaker of the House have provided ample material for late-night hosts. After three weeks of public turmoil, Rep. Mike Johnson from Louisiana has been elected as the 56th speaker of the House. This news has sparked reactions from all four major late-night shows, each providing their unique take on the situation. Let’s break it down.
The wait is finally over
After multiple failed attempts, the speaker seat has finally been filled. Here’s what the hosts had to say about it:
Jimmy Fallon:
“They found someone just in time, if the job stayed open any longer it would have automatically gone to Ryan Seacrest.”
“Republicans said Mike Johnson is their first choice… after their first 10 choices lost.”
“Let’s just say if speaker nominees were Star Wars characters, he’s their Jar Jar.”
“Let’s just say if speaker nominees were halloween candy, this guy’s a Necco Wafer.”
“It’s like being at a restaurant and hearing, ‘do you have Coke? No. Do you have Pepsi? No. Fine I guess I’ll have the Mike Johnson.”
Stephen Colbert:
“Our long national nightmare is finally different.”
“Johnson was just elected this afternoon, getting votes from all 220 Republicans. Finally, a man who appeals to all factions of the Republican party: the MAGA faithful, the social conservatives, the white nationalists and (with a picture of Lauren Boebert) the horny Beetlejuice goblins.”
The Mike Johnson name
The hosts couldn’t resist making jokes about Johnson’s seemingly common name:
Stephen Colbert:
“He is the most generic sounding congressional leader since the election of James Kirkland Brand.”
Seth Meyers:
“Wow, the speaker race was so embarrassing they’re not even giving their real names anymore. Mike Johson is the name you give when you check into your hotel with your mistress. That’s what Spirit Halloween calls their Michael Jackson costume.”
Jimmy Fallon:
“That’s right, the new speaker of the House is Mike Johnson, and if that name sounds familiar it’s because it’s on every fake ID.”
Jimmy Kimmel:
“Not only is he not the best choice for speaker, you can’t even definitively say that Mike Johnson is the best Mike Johnson they could have chose. There’s Mike Johnson from Louisiana, he’s a Republican state representative who may have been a better Johnson overall. You have quadruple gold medalist Mike Johnson, you’ve got Canadian bodybuilder Mike Johnson, Swedish chef Mike Johnson who would make everyone little meatballs every day. You could have given the gavel to one of at least five Mike Johnsons in the NFL or even country music’s number-one black yodeler Mike Johnson.”
Johnson’s election-denier past
What seems to bother the hosts the most is Johnson’s previous efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election in favor of Donald Trump:
Jimmy Fallon:
“Johnson is pretty controversial because he led the effort to overturn the 2020 presidential election. So whether or not he won today, he was going to say he did.”
Jimmy Kimmel:
“He’s been called the most important architect of the electoral college objections, contesting the results of the election in 2020. He voted to decertify the results of that election confirming Biden as president, so he checks off all the important boxes. He’s also anti-gay, anti-choice, pro-conspiracy theory, he seems terrific.”
“You could go to the middle of the phone book and pick any one of the hundreds of Mike Johnsons, each one would be a better choice for speaker, because not one of them tried to overthrow the presidential election, in the house that he now represents.”
“Even though Mike Johnson tried to decertify Biden’s election win, Biden called Johnson to congratulate him because that’s what normal people do. Biden said he looked forward to working together to find common ground, and Johnson said he looked forward to burning democracy to the ground.”
Seth Meyers:
“House of Representatives voted to elect Louisiana congressman Mike Johnson speaker of the House. And apparently this election result he will accept.”
Meyers also covered the selection in his A Closer Look segment.
The late-night shows mentioned are The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Late Night With Seth Meyers on NBC, Jimmy Kimmel Live! on ABC, and The Late Show With Stephen Colbert on CBS.
