Warning: This article contains spoilers for the first season of “The Idol.”
Over the past few weeks, a select group of individuals have dedicated their Sunday evenings to watching (or hate-watching) the highly criticized HBO show, “The Idol.” The show concluded its first season with its fifth episode, as rumors circulated that its viewership was disappointingly low, resulting in the cancellation of the anticipated sixth episode. (For more information, visit this article.)
“The Idol” revolves around Jocelyn (played by Lily-Rose Depp), a troubled pop star, and Tedros (Abel Tesfaye, a.k.a. The Weeknd), a sinister nightclub owner and cult leader who manipulates and controls her. Despite numerous warning signs, their abusive relationship flourishes.
In the pilot episode, after Jocelyn meets Tedros for the first time, her best friend and assistant, Leila (portrayed by Rachel Sennott), remarks, “He’s so rapey.” Jocelyn responds, “I kind of like that about him.”
Created by Sam Levinson, Reza Fahim, and Mr. Tesfaye, the show intentionally includes controversial dialogue that challenges societal norms in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement. However, beneath the show’s provocative content lies a fundamental question many of us ponder: Why do we gravitate towards toxic individuals?
Valerie Buvat de Virginy, a 24-year-old communications specialist based in Washington, D.C., couldn’t help but draw parallels between her own love life and the events transpiring in the show. For instance, a scene where Jocelyn and Tedros engage in a spontaneous encounter inside a Valentino store on Rodeo Drive reminded her of a previous “love bomb relationship” that had spiraled out of control.
During a recent phone interview, she confessed, “I noticed her making excuses for Tedros, and I have to admit, I’ve done the same thing. We justify it by saying, ‘the sex was great.'”
Although this initial attraction may seem harmless, it can evolve into more serious issues such as self-sabotage, manipulation, and abuse. These toxic individuals possess an enigmatic charm that captivates potential partners, despite the warning signs.
One of my friends recently disclosed that he had rekindled a romantic relationship with someone after experiencing a tumultuous breakup while under the influence of drugs. The person involved claimed to have no recollection of the event.
Adam, a 28-year-old residing on the Lower East Side, recently reunited with his on-again, off-again partner. He was initially drawn to their captivating banter that could last for hours, resulting in a mutual fascination and attraction. However, over time, the individual’s behavior changed. Adam, who prefers to remain anonymous, shared, “There were broken promises regarding plans and the way he treated me in public. He even failed to attend one of my events despite confirming his presence.”
Adam decided to end the relationship, given its non-monogamous nature at the time. However, he eventually succumbed to their charm, despite the disapproval of some of his friends. Although Adam is not seeking a serious commitment at the moment, he believes they are kindred spirits and enjoys their presence, regardless of external perceptions.
Ms. Buvat de Virginy admitted that she tends to be attracted to individuals who occupy the center of attention, ones to whom others gravitate. These people, however, prove elusive and resistant to commitment. She mused, “It’s a red flag when they claim they can’t be pinned down, that they’re wild and incapable of being in a relationship. Yet, they utter ‘I love you’ within seconds.”
Just hours before our conversation, Ms. Buvat de Virginy ended her relationship, following a tumultuous phone call with her 31-year-old ex who was intoxicated during a work trip in Europe. He berated and insulted her, claiming it was because he loved her, instead of offering an apology. She later discovered that he had been involved with other people while they were together.
Reflecting on her experience, she remarked, “It was fun for a while, but then it took a turn for the worse, and not in an enjoyable way.”
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