Kelly Baums, a 33-year-old from Chicago, discovered she had been living with ADHD her whole life when she was diagnosed at age 30. Growing up, Kelly always felt different from her peers, struggling with friendships and concentration in school. When she finally received her diagnosis, she experienced a mix of relief and grief. She now works as an ADHD coach and runs a popular TikTok channel, helping other adults navigate life with ADHD and dispelling misconceptions about the condition.
The revelation that Kelly might have ADHD came from her fiance, who mentioned it while they were on a walk. This sparked an intense curiosity in Kelly, leading her to research ADHD symptoms. She felt seen and validated for the first time, recognizing that these symptoms applied to her own experiences.
Many of the challenges Kelly faced throughout her life started to make sense as she learned more about ADHD. She always felt different and often questioned why she couldn’t connect with others or understand social cues. School was a struggle, and she often found herself rushing to complete assignments at the last minute. She frequently lost friendships and wondered what was wrong with her.
Encouraged by advice from a psychologist at her school, Kelly decided to pursue an official diagnosis. She was hesitant to visit her general practitioner due to stories of women being dismissed, so she opted for a full neurological psych evaluation. After three days of tests and questions, it was confirmed that she had ADHD. This revelation brought both clarity and sadness. Kelly grieved for her younger self, who had been calling out for help for so long.
ADHD was traditionally seen as a childhood condition, but researchers are now recognizing its impact on adults. Diagnoses are increasing, with ADHD affecting one in 20 Australians. Kelly’s experience is not uncommon, as many adults are seeking diagnosis later in life. Shaunna Bullard, a registered counsellor, notes that while there may not be an actual increase in ADHD cases, many individuals were not diagnosed as children due to a lack of research at the time.
One misconception about ADHD is the assumption of hyperactivity. While children may display physical hyperactivity, adults often experience it internally. Adults with ADHD may engage in habits like skin-picking, hair-twiddling, doodling, or nail-biting. They may also feel like they have multiple conversations happening simultaneously. ADHD in children is often characterized by impulsivity, as they have yet to learn how to regulate their thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
ADHD is a complex neuro-developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to exhibit age-appropriate self-control. It involves persistent patterns of inattentive, impulsive, and sometimes hyperactive behavior, often accompanied by challenges in emotional regulation. With proper intervention and support, individuals with ADHD can embrace their strengths, manage their challenges, and lead fulfilling lives.
Kelly’s journey of self-acceptance began with her unmasking, where she allowed her true self to be seen. La Trobe University defines masking as concealing certain traits and adopting neurotypical behaviors to avoid being identified as ADHD or autistic. Kelly used to force herself to maintain eye contact during conversations, even though it distracted her. Now, she embraces her natural tendencies and looks around the room while speaking.
With a newfound understanding of how her brain works, Kelly sought professional help to navigate her thoughts, feelings, and daily life. Her previous therapist was skeptical and encouraged her to learn to deal with ADHD. However, Kelly realized the importance of finding someone who understood her needs and could support her in managing her ADHD.
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