When my son embarked on the college application process, the sheer amount of resources and tips available quickly became overwhelming. However, I’ve discovered that there are ways to make this process less stressful for both parents and students. By allowing your child to take the lead, being transparent about finances, and finding ways to make it enjoyable, you can ease the anxiety that often comes with college applications. It’s important to recognize that while there may be dream schools, any institution your child ultimately chooses can become a dream school. This article is part of our “Back to School: Parent Prep” series, where we provide expert advice on successfully navigating the academic year. So, thank you for signing up! With our app, you can access personalized content on the go, tailored to your interests. Start by downloading the app.
Earlier this summer, I had the opportunity to delve into the college search process. My nieces from the West Coast were visiting, and we decided to embark on a mini New England college tour for my eldest niece, who is a rising high school senior. I thought this would also be a good chance for my son, who will be a junior, to get a glimpse of what’s to come. We visited 10 schools in just a few days, and by the end, I was left feeling dizzy and unsure if I was ready for the hunt that awaited me.
When I applied to college in 1997, the process was much simpler. High school guidance counselors had stacks of brochures on their desks, and if we were interested in a university, we could sign up to receive more information through snail mail. Most colleges didn’t have websites, and Google wasn’t accessible to the public yet. We relied on word-of-mouth to learn about different schools. Friends, neighbors, or family members would share their experiences, and we made our decisions based on that. I remember sending out my applications and anxiously waiting for acceptance or rejection letters to arrive in the mail months later.
Now, everything has changed. Every college and university has its own website and social media presence, and virtual college visits are available at almost any school. Applications, acceptances, rejections, and college announcements are primarily done online. There is an abundance of books, apps, websites, coaches, tutors, and other resources promising to make the college application process easier. It can be overwhelming, especially for someone like me who enjoys thorough research before making decisions. As soon as we returned from our college tour, I found myself drowning in books on the topic, only allowing myself to purchase three to avoid overwhelming myself with too much information.
As someone about to dive headfirst into the college search process, I’ve learned that the most important thing is to realize that you’re already doing a great job. Jill Margaret Shulman, the author of “College Admissions Cracked: Saving Your Kid (and Yourself) from the Madness,” reassured me that everyone feels like they’re falling behind or doing something wrong, but it’s not true. It’s crucial to understand that your child is not defined solely by their college application. They are multifaceted individuals with various interests and talents. The last few years of high school are jam-packed with classes, extracurricular activities, work, and friends. Balancing all of this is essential to prevent burnout before college applications are due. While having a “dream school” in mind is natural, Shulman believes that any college your child attends can become their dream school. The perfect place you initially envision may not turn out to be the right fit after all.
Shulman’s book, “College Admissions Cracked,” serves as a helpful guide from the fall of a student’s junior year in high school all the way to dropping them off at college. It provides valuable insights for parents navigating this process alongside their children. Another book I found beneficial is Ron Lieber’s “The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make,” which sheds light on the financial aspects of college. Additionally, Anna Costaras and Gail Liss’ book, “The College Bound Organizer,” has proven to be a useful tool for my son.
One resource that has recently launched is Intrepid Applicant, an online college essay resource created by Shulman. She is passionate about helping students overcome the fear, anxiety, and depression associated with high school and college-bound students. Intrepid Applicant aims to make the college essay writing process efficient and enjoyable for teens, allowing them to excel in a short amount of time without sacrificing their entire lives to it. Shulman shared some valuable tips for parents embarking on the college search and application process:
1. Give your child the opportunity to take the lead. They will be the ones attending college, so it’s important for them to explore what works best for them. This period of their lives is about self-discovery and finding their values, needs, and aspirations. While you can offer guidance, empower them to be independent in their search for the right schools.
2. Be open and honest about finances from the start. Have conversations early on about what type of schools your family can afford. Discuss the realities of loans and their potential impact on your child’s future. Setting financial parameters can help narrow down the search.
3. Make college tours a fun weekly activity. Set aside a specific night each week where the family can gather, enjoy snacks, and virtually tour a different college. This free and time-efficient approach allows you to explore more schools before deciding which ones to visit in person. By limiting college talk to once a week, you prevent overwhelming your child and yourself.
4. Remember that you and your child are the ones making this decision. You are the consumers. Focus on finding a college that aligns with your child’s needs and aspirations. It’s not just about acceptance, but about finding a place that will nurture their growth and help them become the person they want to be.
5. Don’t be afraid to negotiate costs. If your child is set on a particular school but finances are a concern, reach out to the admissions office and inquire about better financial aid options. Let them know that their college is your child’s first choice. This can potentially open up opportunities for more affordable education.
Embarking on the college search and application process can be overwhelming, but it’s important to approach it with a balanced mindset and focus on what truly matters for your child’s future. By allowing them to take the lead, being transparent about finances, and finding ways to make it enjoyable, you can navigate this milestone with confidence.
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