Drew Sollenberger, a 38-year-old asexual man from Maryland, has astonished many by fathering over two dozen children without ever engaging in sexual intercourse. As a software engineer with a passion for children, Sollenberger has been an active sperm donor for 16 years, resulting in 25 successful pregnancies across the United States.
Ironically, Sollenberger discovered his aromantic identity, which means he experiences little to no romantic attraction, at the age of 22. Nevertheless, he has always nurtured a desire to become a father since his teenage years. His affection for children blossomed when his older sister became pregnant at 18, and he devoted a couple of years to caring for his nephew. “I realized I really loved kids,” he expressed to DailyMail.com.
While volunteering with children brought him joy, Sollenberger felt that it lacked long-term impact. He desired a lasting connection with children who would remember him. However, his identity as an asexual man posed a challenge to his dream of starting a nuclear family. Disheartened by this realization, he initially attempted to convince himself that volunteering was enough. However, the longing to be a traditional father persisted.
Considering fostering or utilizing a surrogate, Sollenberger dismissed the latter option due to his commitment to donating all his earnings to charitable causes. Exploring alternatives, he discovered Known Donor Registry, a website connecting individuals in need of sperm donors with potential donors. He also joined the Facebook group Sperm Donation USA for its widespread usage. As a result, he now maintains regular contact with eight of the children he helped conceive, meeting them once a month for outings at their homes or trips to the beach.
Sollenberger’s motivation for sperm donation has transformed over time. Initially driven by the desire to have a relationship with his biological children, he now focuses on supporting women in need of committed donors. Adjusting his level of involvement, he started asking for less contact after realizing that some women had misled him. By allowing women to specify their desired level of contact, he avoids disappointment and dashed hopes.
While sperm donation has existed for over 60 years, it has experienced a significant increase in demand and corresponding price inflation. Sollenberger used to travel long distances to donate his sperm to same-sex and heterosexual couples facing infertility issues. Surprisingly, being a virgin has actually played to his advantage. Women, particularly those with male partners, appreciate knowing that he abstains from sex.
In addition to his role as a sperm donor, Sollenberger runs a YouTube channel where he provides guidance to individuals seeking to have children through sperm donation. Recently returning from spending a week with two of his biological daughters, whom he lovingly refers to as his “goddaughters,” Sollenberger cherishes the moments he shares with the children he is allowed to see. Ranging in age from one and a half to nine, they see him as their fun-loving uncle figure who visits them once a month.
With a primary focus on the recipients, Sollenberger aims to ensure the well-being and happiness of those he assists through sperm donation. Although his decision to donate initially caused some concern for his parents, they have come to support him. His father, a natural pessimist, was skeptical at first but now trusts the legal contracts in place. His mother faced a bit of cultural shock initially, as she encountered the interracial children of a lesbian couple who embrace transgender rights and BDSM practices.
Sollenberger lives his life by a “golden rule” that he instills in all his children: “People should be allowed to pursue their happiness, as long as they don’t harm others, even if their choices seem strange or unfamiliar.”
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