Ms. Rodsky enlisted a group of additional individuals to join in and experiment with their own set of index cards. As ideas and questions arose, she established rules to address them. Is it necessary to keep a card indefinitely? No. What should I do if my partner possesses the laundry card but fails to do it frequently enough? Set a minimum standard of care, for instance: sheets and towels must be washed weekly, hampers must be emptied whenever they are full. What if my partner doesn’t understand? Discuss it during a compulsory weekly check-in.
The book capitalizes on a distinct girlfriend-to-girlfriend tone, employing phrases such as “she-fault” in place of default and “unicorn space” to signify passion projects. The cards themselves are more practical, outlining tasks that range from obvious ones like dry cleaning, lawn care, and weekday dinners to hidden responsibilities like birth control, holiday cards, and social plans. There’s even a card designated for the person responsible for fulfilling magical beings’ roles such as the tooth fairy.
Over the past couple of years, Bryn Martinez Zavras, a psychologist and certified Fair Play facilitator in Cincinnati, has noticed a rise in the number of clients, predominantly women, seeking guidance about Fair Play.
Dr. Zavras, who also applies Fair Play principles at home, values the physical aspect of the cards. She stated, “For many clients, simply seeing the cards has been remarkably enlightening and thought-provoking.”
This was evident in Jenny Reitmeier’s experience. A working mom and electrical engineer based in Denver, she realized after the birth of her first child that numerous tasks were defaulting to her, on top of breastfeeding. She reached out to fellow working moms in her company’s channel, seeking advice on how to balance household duties. One of her colleagues recommended Fair Play, prompting Ms. Reitmeier and her husband to read the book.
When they proceeded to divide the Fair Play cards, Ms. Reitmeier wasn’t surprised to discover that she shouldered the majority of the invisible tasks. However, she was taken aback by the number of traditional chores, such as home maintenance, garbage, and cleaning, that her husband had been managing. “It was refreshing to bring everything into the open,” she remarked. “He also felt like he wasn’t being acknowledged.”
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