Why does my mother-in-law have an obsession with my husband and me sleeping in separate bedrooms?

Now, you know your mother-in-law better than I do. If you think that discussing this with her will lead to invasive questions, you can simply say that you and your husband sleep better in separate rooms, which may be true for various reasons. Be direct, but also establish boundaries regarding your privacy.

Views, the Rare Resource Not Diminished by Sharing

I had booked a flight ahead of time from Denver to Aspen so I could select a seat with a great view. The flight path takes us over the breathtaking Rocky Mountains, and I was eagerly anticipating the experience. However, midway through the flight, a passenger asked if I would swap seats with his young daughter so that she could have a better view. She had been complaining that her seat wasn’t as good. I politely declined the request, but both the family and other passengers gave me disapproving looks. Was my decision the right one?

FRANK

Commercial air travel, like other forms of shared transportation, is a bold experiment in communal living, even under less-than-ideal circumstances that include overcrowding, cramped conditions, and depersonalization. I understand that you had made advance arrangements for your seat and had every right to keep it. However, in a different context, you probably wouldn’t have minded allowing a young girl to enjoy the view for a brief period of time. It’s possible that she would have grown bored with it quickly.

Workplace Annoyance, or Medical Condition?

I work in an office shared with six colleagues. One of my coworkers consistently emits loud, frat-boy-like burps throughout the day. There have been instances where she did it seven times in an hour! This has been going on for months, and I’m unsure how to address the issue. It completely disgusts me, and I find it incredibly rude. What can I do?

CO-WORKER

Disgust is not a productive starting point for resolving most issues, although I can understand your sentiment from your position in the office. Try reframing the problem: it seems that your colleague may be dealing with reflux or another medical condition that I am not qualified to diagnose.

I recommend discussing this situation with your manager. If there is no manager, speak gently with your co-worker. She may not be aware of the issue or may believe that there is nothing she can do about it, but there may be options if someone kindly encourages her to seek medical attention. Therefore, the question is: are you willing to be that compassionate person?

A Hard-Earned Title Worth Demanding

I am a retired judge. Like many retired judges, I now work as a private arbitrator, occasionally serving on panels of three. I am currently on a panel with a retired judge from another state. During conference calls, he refers to himself as Judge Smith and refers to me as Miss Jones, even after he has heard lawyers addressing me as Judge Jones. Should I let this go, or should I address it with him and the agency that arranges our cases?

JUDGE

In my opinion, it would be premature to simply let this go, just as it would be to report the man to the agency that hires both of you. You are equals and have no reason to fear him. Speak up! Let him know that you expect to be referred to as Judge Jones, the same honorific he uses for himself. If he fails to comply, then report him. There may be a degree of sexism underlying his current behavior, but you won’t know the extent until you directly address his error.

If you need assistance with any awkward situation, feel free to send a question to [email protected], reach out to Philip Galanes on Facebook, or contact @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.