- TikTokers from Australia and the UK expressed perplexity regarding the American usage of “mmhmm.”
- Americans defended themselves, stating that “you’re welcome” often feels passive-aggressive.
- “Even if I donated a kidney, I’d probably still respond with ‘no problem’,” joked one commenter.
American TikTokers are clarifying to bewildered foreigners why they don’t use “you’re welcome” in customer service situations, as many perceive the phrase to be impolite, which is somewhat counterintuitive.
TikToker Arjuna, also known as @superdesidrinks, addressed this topic in a video that garnered nearly 600,000 views last week. “Someone went viral earlier this week for saying ‘you’re welcome’ in customer service situations,” he began his video.
Although Arjuna acknowledged that “you’re welcome” is considered the typical response to “thank you,” he pointed out that it can sometimes convey a passive-aggressive tone, implying, “I know, you should be thanking me.”
Arjuna did not mention the viral creator he was responding to, but another TikToker named Yuval Ben-Hayun initiated a similar discussion in July when he stitched a video featuring Australian creator Georgia McCudden complaining about an encounter at an American restaurant (although that particular clip has been deleted since then). In the original TikTok, McCudden recounts expressing her gratitude to a restaurant worker who gave her ketchup, to which the server responded with a simple “mmhmm.”
“I was like, ‘I beg your fucking pardon,'” McCudden exclaims in the clip. Insider has reached out to McCudden for comment but has not received an immediate response.
However, McCudden is not alone in her sentiments. Last year, TikToker Tilly Hokianga, an Australian living in America, expressed similar confusion regarding the response of “mmhmm.”
“Like, I just said ‘thank you.’ Say, ‘you’re welcome,’ or ‘all good,’ or ‘no worries’,” she vented to over 700,000 likes.
English TikToker Luke Colson, who claims to reside in Los Angeles, made the same observation last November. “That is the weirdest thing,” he commented.
In his video, Arjuna proposed alternatives such as “uh huh,” “no problem,” or “don’t worry about it,” all of which convey that the favor received was minor and does not necessarily warrant a “thank you.” However, in the case of a more significant favor, like a kidney donation, he stated that “you’re welcome” might be more appropriate.
“If I donated a kidney, I would still probably say ‘no problem’,” one commenter humorously remarked.
Several American commenters mentioned that their parents used “you’re welcome” antagonistically, which has tainted their perception of the phrase.
“A lot of millennials grew up with parents using ‘You’re welcome’ as a passive-aggressive reminder to be polite and say thank you,” another commenter added. “It’s a bit tainted…”
In his video discussing whether “you’re welcome” is rude or polite, self-described “language enthusiast” Ben-Hayun pitted Americans who say “you’re welcome” against those who say “no problem,” noting that each side might perceive the other as rude.
“We tend to believe that the way we naturally speak is inherently more polite, more efficient, or smarter,” he explained. “These feelings stem from the need to justify the way we speak, as it makes us feel a bit better.”
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