- At age 37, Dr. Megan Neff completed her psychology PhD and received a surprising diagnosis of autism and ADHD.
- After her daughter’s autism and ADHD diagnosis, Neff began to recognize the symptoms in herself.
- The diagnosis not only helped her understand herself better, but also allowed her to appreciate her strengths and practice self-kindness.
Dr. Megan Neff, while on the verge of completing her clinical psychology doctorate at the age of 37, received an unexpected dual diagnosis of autism and ADHD.
It’s not uncommon for individuals to be diagnosed with both disorders, often referred to as AuDHD when combined.
According to Dr. Neff, “It’s like everything clicked into place, and I finally had a lens to understand myself.”
Prior to her own diagnosis, Neff’s daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, prompting Neff and her spouse to consider whether her daughter also had autism based on additional symptoms they observed.
This investigation led Neff down a rabbit trail of autism research, which is a common interest for autistic individuals. Having a background in psychology gave her access to academic literature, IQ tests, and personality assessments, leading her to suspect that she might have ADHD and autism as well.
After six months, Neff received an official medical diagnosis of AuDHD from a psychologist, which not only transformed her career but also impacted her relationships.
Previously, she was masking a lot of her symptoms
Prior to her diagnosis, Neff had been in therapy for three years, exploring the possibility of repressed trauma.
She explained, “I was getting to a point of just trying to grieve and accept that I would never understand why I was the way I was. I just couldn’t understand my sensory sensitivities and my social aversions, and trauma is a narrative that made the most sense.”
However, recognizing her AuDHD helped Neff understand why certain things, like small talk, posed difficulties for her. She revealed that she frequently engaged in masking, a common symptom of autism and ADHD, as a means of socializing.
“I used to rehearse and script out conversations,” she confessed.
Masking often causes women and gender non-conforming individuals to receive a late diagnosis or be misdiagnosed with conditions like borderline personality disorder.
Initially, some individuals, including her spouse, were skeptical of Neff’s diagnosis due to her ability to conceal and adapt to her challenges. However, upon learning more about autism and ADHD, their doubts diminished.
The diagnosis helped her recognize her unique strengths
Neff described hyper-fixation as her most prominent autistic trait, stating, “I become highly obsessive around my interests. It’s why I’ve been able to create a career out of mental health and neurodivergence because I have a lot of energy.”
In addition, she finds comfort in repetition and categorization as a form of self-soothing. Although these behaviors are typically associated with math or tech, Neff’s fixation is on psychology, her special interest.
She shifted her career to focus on neurodivergent patients like herself
Receiving her diagnosis profoundly transformed Neff’s life. She disclosed, “I went from being incredibly hard on myself to finally being able to be gentle.” Previously, she frequently criticized herself and pushed through discomfort.
Neff acknowledged that due to the need to “decode” social interactions and maintain focus, she experiences burnout more easily. Additionally, she has sensory sensitivities and becomes irritable when her routine is unexpectedly disrupted, which are common symptoms of autism.
Recognizing her sensory needs and understanding her socialization preferences, Neff transitioned to a private practice where she works with other neurodivergent patients from her home. She also manages a popular Instagram account where she educates people about the symptoms of autism and ADHD.
According to Neff, significant life changes frequently occur following an autism or ADHD diagnosis. She stated, “There’s a lot of self-exploration that often happens as a person starts unmasking and starts getting curious about who they authentically are.”
For individuals undergoing similar self-discoveries, Neff recommends seeking therapy to learn more about themselves and connecting with ADHD and autistic communities through groups or social media.
“I really can’t understate how powerful it is just to have an accurate lens or narrative to understand ourselves from,” she emphasized. For many, a diagnosis is the first step in letting go of internalized shame and embracing the accomplishments of individuals with autism and ADHD.
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