The Eerie Familiarity of Russell Brand’s Grooming Tactics
Reading the account of Brand’s accuser, known as Alice, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of recognition. It reminded me of my own experiences and conversations I’ve had with other women. Brand didn’t approach Alice with charming conversation or shared interests. Instead, he plucked her out of obscurity and took her on a date when she was only 16 years old. Alice wore a red wiggle dress and platform shoes to impress him, but she still looked like a child. This dynamic of being controlled and manipulated is something that Alice believes led to her being sexually assaulted.
This got me thinking about my own encounters with attractive men when I was 15 years old. I longed for their attention and dreamed of finding love and a place in the adult world. Looking back now, I realize how susceptible I was to being influenced and molded by these older men. It seems that Alice’s suggestion of changing the age of consent to 18 and making it illegal for someone over 21 to have sex with someone under 18 has struck a chord with many people.
A study conducted by Ipsos found that twice as many men as women believe it is acceptable for a 30-year-old man to have sex with a 16-year-old girl. The idea of raising the age of consent to 18 has garnered support from 48% of people, while 40% support staggered consent. It’s clear that this suggestion has sparked a national debate, as many women have shared similar experiences of learning about sex and relationships from older men.
Reflecting on my own past, I can now see how dating older men as a young girl conditioned me to accept the norms of a patriarchal society. These men seemed attractive and alluring, embodying the freedoms and experiences of adulthood. However, the reality was far from what I expected. Being with them didn’t bring pleasure or love, but rather a harsh lesson in longing and disappointment.
One memory that stands out is my encounters with sexy DJs who invited my friend and me to their flat after nights out. We hoped they would become our boyfriends, but they attempted to swap us and treated us as objects rather than individuals. Another experience involved a pop singer in his late 20s who seemed impressive and exciting. However, things took a turn when he guided me into a toilet cubicle and pressured me into a sexual encounter. Despite my feelings of disappointment and nerves, I tried to remain positive and wrote in my diary that it wasn’t as bad as I expected.
These encounters left me feeling powerless and unsure of myself. I wanted their attention and acceptance, even if it meant compromising my own boundaries. Looking back, I realize the immense power imbalance that existed in these relationships.
It’s clear that these experiences have had a lasting impact on many women. We were conditioned to believe that seeking the attention of older men was normal, and that our own desires and needs were secondary. As we continue to reflect on these experiences, it’s important that we reevaluate the ethics and impact of these relationships. Only by speaking openly about this issue can we hope to make positive change.
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