And lo! As we all return to school, it turns out that women in Britain are still burdened with more housework than men. The recently published British Social Attitudes Survey reveals that although most Britons agree that adult couples sharing a home should split household chores equally, two-thirds of them admit that women end up doing much more. Unfortunately, Italian and Spanish women have it even worse. However, my adopted Nordic homeland seems to have found a solution, and there’s so much that Brits can learn from their approach.
Since moving to Denmark in 2013, I’ve noticed a rhythm to Danish life that’s more conducive to an equal division of labor. In Denmark, both sexes work and get paid a decent wage. Moreover, starting from the young age of 10 months, all children go to tax-subsidized, state-run daycare. Most daycare institutions and offices are open from 8am until 4pm, and this has shaped the Danish work culture. Even a CEO is allowed to say in a meeting at 4pm, “I have to leave to pick up the kids and make dinner,” and they go home to eat as a family.
In Denmark, mealtimes are cherished moments of togetherness. Unlike my old life in London, where my husband and I would often eat takeaway in front of the TV, meals in Denmark are enjoyed as a family, without any distractions. Family mealtimes are also valued in Finland, Iceland, Norway, and Sweden.
Most Danish men take pride in their culinary skills, and even have a signature dish up their sleeves. The Danish equivalent of Jamie Oliver is Timm Vladimir, a tattooed Viking in a leather apron. Inspired by the idea that “real men cook,” my husband has also learned to bake delicious cinnamon buns and his apple-chip salmon has been praised as “to die for.” Additionally, most Danes take great pride in their homes and don’t mind doing a quick vacuum clean. It’s no secret that Danes love a chic minimalist home, so clutter or cobwebs are never tolerated.
While researching Nordic childhoods for my upcoming book, I discovered that even young Vikings learn their way around a kitchen. My five-year-old twins learned to bake bread at kindergarten, and their older brother attends a weekly “food lab” at school where he learns to make messy yet edible scrambled eggs and porridge. In Denmark, a quarter of all teenagers attend a subsidized residential boarding school or “efterskole” from the age of 14, where they learn important life skills like cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. This is a brilliant approach considering that there are adults in other parts of the world who still struggle with basic tasks like operating a washing machine.
The Nordic countries aren’t achieving gender equality just by chance or in some magical fairyland. Their success is due to the implementation of family-friendly policies by their governments. Generous parental leave and subsidization of daycare, funded by taxes, provide better support for Nordic women. Moreover, fathers throughout the Nordic region actively participate in childcare, changing diapers, cooking, and taking children to daycare. In fact, any father who doesn’t do these things is not regarded as a “real man.” Sweden was the first country to introduce shared parental leave in 1974, and Swedish fathers currently use the most parental leave in the world. The shift in gender roles has been significant in Sweden, with the term “housewife” practically being obsolete.
Nowadays, almost every father spends time at home, and those who don’t are considered strange. There’s even a nickname, “latte papas,” for the well-dressed dads who hang out in coffee shops with their babies. This cultural change didn’t happen because of fathers alone; it took brave politicians pushing for unpopular decisions for the greater good. There’s also an economic imperative for promoting shared parental leave and subsidizing daycare. The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the European Union, and the World Economic Forum all encourage member nations to guarantee paid parental leave and subsidized daycare for their workers, as it has been proven to stimulate economic growth.
Equality is deeply ingrained in Nordic culture, which is why these countries consistently rank as the happiest in the world. Equality works, and there’s nothing sexier than a man wearing Marigolds gloves while doing household chores. So, let’s teach our sons the importance of mopping, ironing, cleaning, and doing laundry. Future employers, partners, flatmates, and society as a whole will thank us for it. And if they don’t learn, well, we could always send them to Denmark.
Helen Russell is a writer living in Jutland, Denmark, and the author of “The Year of Living Danishly” and the upcoming “How to Raise A Viking.”
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