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Image: Nintendo Life
Welcome to the Nintendo Life Soapbox, where our talented writers and contributors express their opinions on trending topics and random musings. Today, Jim has some less-than-stellar thoughts on the residents of Mario’s latest 2D adventure. Brace yourself for his not-so-wonderful take on Wonder’s new not-Toads.
There’s no denying the charm of Super Mario Bros. Wonder. A quick glance at Twitter reveals a recurring theme: praise for its stunning visuals, brilliant level design, and engaging Badge system. I wholeheartedly agree with the online consensus—it truly is a wonderful game. But let’s not allow the sparkling façade of the Flower Kingdom to blind us to the unpleasant truth lurking beneath—the infuriating Poplins. Am I being too harsh? Perhaps, but the sentiment remains. Nintendo’s latest additions may just be the most annoying characters of 2023.
In Tears of the Kingdom, we had the option to eliminate bothersome Koroks by launching, exploding, cooking, or employing other methods. But the Poplins? I’m left with no choice but to mindlessly spam the ‘A’ button until they finally leave me alone. Why are these dome-headed pests getting under my skin? Aren’t they just harmless little creatures meant to assist Mario and Prince Florian in navigating the Flower Kingdom? That’s what they want you to think. In reality, they are energy vampires, sapping away at your anticipation until finishing each level is met with the bitter realization that it only grants you freedom from yet another bothersome Poplin. Ugh, just pipe down already!
Image: Nintendo Life
It’s impossible to take a few steps in the Flower Kingdom without being incessantly pestered by Poplins, complaining that they can’t perform simple tasks like breaking rocks or finding their way around without demanding payment. Seriously, “I can’t do this unless you pay me”? I see right through their deceptive tactics. Initially, I wasn’t bothered by their presence, considering them merely replacements for the Toads, who were bound to be annoying as well. But then came World 3 – Shining Falls, and things took a turn for the worst.
Enter Master Poplin, the guardian of the area who subjects you to a series of infuriating challenges. And as if that weren’t enough, he pops up at the end of every single level to deliver more condescending remarks. The first couple of times, I brushed it off like a mature adult. But after enduring six patronizing encounters, I was thoroughly fed up. Holding a completely reasonable and not-at-all-excessive grudge against a fictional flower man certainly made me feel like a grown-up. Determined to dislike Poplins forever, I pressed on through the remaining three worlds.
To my dismay, the Poplins started intentionally obstructing my progress, deliberately slowing me down. Mario is a man of few words, and wasting them on these pointless conversations seemed like a terrible waste of time. But what choice did I have? Nintendo has crafted a game so incredibly fun to play that I couldn’t bear to skip optional levels, even if it meant enduring interactions with Poplins. Being British, I have perfected the art of passive-aggression in the face of adversity. So, while Poplins have been somewhat helpful, providing Wonder Seeds and Badges on my journey, let’s not pretend that they are anything more than animated item chests with irritating high-pitched voices and strong opinions about moving castles.
Did anyone ever play a 2D Mario game and think, “You know, I really want to hear more from the Toads”? Of course not. These incessantly chatty Poplins are the reason for that, and only an appearance by a beloved American comedian in The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2 or a series of puzzle platforming games titled ‘Captain Poplin’ would change that perception. So, Nintendo, please continue to dazzle us with vibrant, colorful kingdoms in future Mario games, and by all means, introduce us to the locals. But while you’re at it, how about adding a few more flowery targets that don’t require engaging in conversation?
What are your thoughts on the Poplins of Mario Wonder? Do you find them endearing or would you rather they remain silent? Cast your vote in the poll below and share your opinions in the comments.
What do you think of Mario Wonder’s Poplins? (215 votes)
I think they are cute! Give me more! – 20%
Eh, they didn’t really bother me either way – 54%
A slight nuisance, but nothing more – 20%
Grrr, they have set me on a path of destruction from which I may never return – 6%
See Also
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Whether it’s rambling about video games or superheroes, Jim wears his passions on his sleeve. When he’s not working through his ever-growing backlog, he can usually be found replaying a Zelda title. He’s a huge fan of all-things fantasy and loves discussing it.
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