In the realm of Buddhism, love is synonymous with being present. However, being present requires practice and training. Without being fully present, how can one truly love? The art of meditation is a means of cultivating true presence in the here and now. The question we must ask ourselves is: Do we have the time to love?
I once encountered a 12-year-old boy whose father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. Despite his father’s wealth and ability to acquire anything, the boy desired nothing more than his father’s presence. Unfortunately, the father’s preoccupation with his role and wealth prevented him from dedicating time to his family. Being wealthy can hinder love, as the desire to maintain wealth consumes one’s time and energy. If this father understood the true essence of love, he would prioritize finding time for his son and wife.
The greatest gift we can give someone we love is our true presence. So, how can we truly be present? Those who practice Buddhist meditation understand that mindfulness lies at the core. Mindful breathing, for instance, allows us to be present with ourselves, our loved ones, and life itself.
Therefore, I propose a simple practice: mindful breathing. Repeat the mantra “Breathing—I know that I am breathing in; breathing—I know that I am breathing out.” By concentrating on this mantra, we can truly be present, as our mind and body often operate separately in our daily lives. Our body may be physically present, but our mind wanders elsewhere—dwelling on past regrets, worrying about the future, or being consumed by plans, anger, or jealousy.
The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence.
Thankfully, there is a bridge between the mind and body: mindful breathing. In just ten to twenty seconds, mindful breathing unites the body and mind. Every individual, even a child, can achieve this miraculous state of oneness through mindful breathing.
The Buddha left us with a vital text called the Anapanasati Sutta, or the Discourse on the Practice of Mindful Breathing. To truly engage in Buddhist meditation, one must study this text.
Had the aforementioned father known this practice, he could have begun to breathe mindfully. Within minutes, he could have approached his son, looked at him with a smile, and sincerely stated, “My dear, I am here for you.” This simple phrase encapsulates the greatest gift one can offer a loved one.
In Buddhism, mantras hold significant meaning. A mantra possesses the power to transform a situation, our mind, our body, or even a person. However, to harness this power, the mantra must be uttered with deep concentration—when the body and mind are in perfect unity. In this state of being, our words transform into mantras.
Allow me to introduce an English mantra that is incredibly effective: “Dear one, I am here for you.” Tonight, take a few minutes to practice mindful breathing. Bring your body and mind together, then approach your loved one with mindfulness and concentration. Look into their eyes and utter this mantra: “Dear one, I am really here for you.” Speak these words with both your body and mind, and witness the transformation.
Do you prioritize love in your life? Can you spare a little time each day for love? Our busy lives often restrict our time spent together. During breakfast, we fail to truly see and connect with our loved ones. We hastily consume our meals while consumed by other thoughts, often holding a newspaper that obscures the face of our beloved. In the evenings, exhaustion prevents us from properly looking at the person we love.
A revolution in how we approach everyday life is necessary, as our happiness and fulfillment lie within ourselves.
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From True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh © 1997 by Éditions Terre du Ciel and Unified Buddhist Church, Inc. Translation © 2004 by Shambhala Publications. This edition published in 2023. Reprinted in arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc. Boulder, CO. www.shambhala.com
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