Do you want to stay up-to-date with Arthur’s writings? Sign up for our email subscription to receive notifications every time a new column is published.
Throughout my career as a happiness researcher and teacher, I have encountered thousands of people who have uttered the statement, “I just want to be happy.” I have said it myself countless times, and chances are, you have too. And rightly so, for as the philosopher and theologian Saint Augustine once proclaimed without the need for proof, “There is no one who does not wish to be happy.” But what exactly do we mean when we express this desire for happiness? Typically, we are referring to the yearning to experience and maintain certain emotions, such as joy or contentment, that are often obstructed by some hindrance. “I just want to be happy” is usually followed by the identification of a source of unhappiness, such as financial difficulties, relationship problems, health issues, or even tragic events. (As I type these words, the devastating Maui wildfires have claimed numerous lives, displaced thousands of people, and inflicted suffering that has affected us all.) From minor obstacles to major catastrophes, life seems to conspire against our pursuit of lasting happiness. How paradoxical it is that we are innately wired to desire happiness, yet seemingly destined to endure a life of hardship that renders it unattainable.
This column draws inspiration from my latest book, written in collaboration with Oprah Winfrey, titled “Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier,” which hits the shelves today.
But what if this paradox is rooted in a misconception of happiness itself? In reality, much of the prevailing wisdom and commonly held beliefs about happiness perpetuate a series of myths. As Oprah Winfrey and I strive to demonstrate in our book, “Build the Life You Want,” anyone can make genuine progress in constructing a better life for themselves and others if they can transcend these myths, even in the face of considerable suffering.
Myth 1: Happiness is merely a feeling.
We all understand what happiness feels like. It encompasses distinct emotions such as joy, love, and interest, just as unhappiness encompasses emotions like fear, sadness, disgust, and anger. However, labeling happiness itself, or unhappiness, as a mere “feeling” is a mistake. It is akin to asserting that your job and your income are one and the same. Your job serves as a means of financial sustenance, and your income may be an indicator of your professional efficacy. Yet reducing your work to solely its monetary component would be inaccurate and demoralizing.
Likewise, your emotional states both derive from and contribute to your well-being, but they do not equate to that well-being. Happiness transcends a series of neurological signals evolved to ensure your survival, safety, and reproductive success. I prefer to conceive of happiness as a fusion of three more enduring components: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.
Arthur C. Brooks: Discover the keys to greater happiness in your social life
Enjoyment begins with simple pleasures and extends to sharing those pleasures with others. This engages our higher consciousness by requiring the executive capacity of our brain to exercise social skills. Therefore, enjoyment can be understood as pleasure plus companionship plus the retention of positive memories. Unlike pleasure alone, enjoyment heightens happiness. This is why advertisements for food and beverages often depict people coming together and sharing meaningful moments in their lives, as it associates the product with long-term enjoyment (and consequently, happiness), not just fleeting pleasure.
Satisfaction derives from accomplishing something you have worked towards. It is the elation and fulfillment you experience when you receive an A grade in school after dedicated studying or when you find satisfaction in a well-earned promotion at work. Satisfied is how you feel when you surmount a challenging, even painful, endeavor that aligns with what you perceive as your life’s purpose.
Psychologists define meaning as a combination of coherence (recognizing that events occur for a reason), purpose (finding direction in life), and significance (believing that your life holds importance). We can endure periods without enjoyment or even with limited satisfaction, but the absence of meaning in our lives – an arduous pursuit requiring effort and sacrifice – leaves us utterly adrift. Without meaning, we struggle to navigate life’s inevitable challenges and crises. With a sense of meaning, on the other hand, we can confront life with hope and inner peace.
Myth 2: Your problems are the root of the problem.
Upon examining the previous definition of happiness, you may have noticed something peculiar, perhaps even disconcerting: Each of its three components demands a certain degree of effort, discomfort, or suffering, at times overlapping with unhappiness.
Helen Lewis: Harry and Meghan are playing a completely different game
Enjoyment entails an investment of time and effort. It necessitates forgoing easy, effortless thrills and entails resisting urges and temptations. It requires the tempering of pleasure-seeking appetites and adherence to self-imposed moral codes, such as remaining faithful to one’s partner. Similarly, satisfaction requires work and endurance. If you do not endure any suffering for something, even if only to a minor degree, it is unlikely to bring you much gratification.
The common strategy of attempting to eliminate problems from our lives in order to achieve greater happiness is futile and misguided. Instead, we must seek to uncover the “why” of our lives, transforming our problems into opportunities for learning and growth. And unsurprisingly, this quest for meaning involves the most suffering of all. “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity—even under the most difficult circumstances—to add a deeper meaning to his life,” wrote psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl in his 1946 book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”
Myth 3: Your ultimate goal is happiness.
In truth, you cannot be completely happy. However, you can become happier.
The pursuit of happiness is akin to the search for El Dorado, the fabled city of gold in South America. While glimpses of happiness may occasionally be glimpsed during the search, they prove evanescent. Some individuals may speak as if they have acquired happiness, but no one truly possesses it. All too often, those whom society assumes should be completely happy—such as the wealthy, the beautiful, the famous, and the powerful—make headlines for their bankruptcies, personal scandals, and familial issues.
Read: “Queen Sugar” offers unparalleled opulence
If pure, unadulterated happiness were accessible through a predetermined formula, we would have undoubtedly discovered it by now. It would be a thriving industry, traded on the internet, taught in schools, and provided by governments. But it is not. Since the dawn of Homo sapiens approximately 300,000 years ago in Africa, every human being has sought what has proven to be elusive. We have mastered the creation of fire, the invention of the wheel, the landing on the moon, and even the production of TikTok videos, yet despite our immense ingenuity, we remain incapable of achieving the one thing we truly desire. Some individuals manage to experience more happiness than others, but no one can sustain it consistently.
This is because happiness is not a destination; it is a path. We will never reach a state of complete happiness in this lifetime. However, regardless of our position in life’s journey and our natural inclination towards satisfaction or dissatisfaction, we all have the capacity to become happier through self-awareness, positive habits, and a commitment to personal growth.
Would you like to hear more from Arthur C. Brooks? Join him and a selection of today’s finest writers and most audacious voices at The Atlantic Festival on September 28th and 29th. Secure your pass here.
Although the notion that happiness necessitates effort, involves periods of unhappiness, and is largely unattainable may appear disheartening, it should actually offer liberation. It informs us that our feelings cannot dictate our well-being, that our problems cannot impede our pursuit of greater happiness, and that we can finally cease the futile search for a mythical city of gold. Here are four ways to apply this knowledge to your own life.
Truth 1: Assess whether you are nourishing your happiness.
If you were to consult a nutritionist due to concerns about your dietary habits, they would likely analyze your macronutrient profile—the proportions of protein, carbohydrates, and fats in your diet—and make adjustments where necessary. Enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning serve as the macronutrients in your happiness diet. Therefore, this serves as an excellent initial step in evaluating your own happiness and… [retain HTML tags and continue the content].
Denial of responsibility! Vigour Times is an automatic aggregator of Global media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, and all materials to their authors. For any complaint, please reach us at – [email protected]. We will take necessary action within 24 hours.
