- I attended a wedding after years and felt uneasy during the first dance.
- The moment seemed too intimate to share with a crowd.
- Now I’m considering whether I should have a first dance at my wedding or modify the tradition.
I’ve always enjoyed public displays of affection (PDA). My partner and I often hold hands in public, and I don’t mind when other couples get close.
However, I felt surprisingly uncomfortable during a recent wedding’s first dance.
I attended the wedding as my partner’s plus one, as he had known the bride for years.
I hadn’t been to a wedding since I was 7 years old, so my expectations were based on TV shows and movies.
I always loved the idea of a first dance and was excited to see it in real life. Would it be as romantic as depicted in rom-coms?
I felt incredibly uncomfortable and eagerly awaited the end of the first dance
To respect the couple’s privacy, I won’t provide specific details about them or the wedding. However, I’ll share how I felt as a guest watching the first dance.
The lights dimmed, and the newlyweds danced to a country song while everyone stood in a circle around them. Parts of the dance seemed choreographed, and the couple appeared slightly nervous as they gazed into each other’s eyes.
It was sweet, romantic, and heartwarming.
But I didn’t enjoy it.
There was nothing particularly remarkable or inappropriate about the dance itself. However, as the couple exchanged loving looks, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too intimate to share with a large audience.
You might be thinking that my discomfort stemmed from being a plus one with limited connection to the couple. Or perhaps it was because it had been years since I last attended a wedding, and I wasn’t accustomed to it.
Both of these factors could be true. However, my partner had been to several weddings before this one, and he felt the same discomfort during the first dance.
For those who dislike dancing in front of a crowd, there are alternatives
I used to daydream about dancing at my future wedding and pondered which song my partner and I would choose.
However, after my recent experience, the idea of having a first dance seems intimidating.
While I’m not getting married anytime soon, I believe it’s worth considering alternatives for those who share my discomfort with first dances. If you’re excited about having a first dance, that’s great! This is simply a discussion of additional options I’ve been thinking about.
A first dance could be done privately, before or after the wedding ceremony. You could even choose to have the first dance on a separate day entirely, which could make it more special.
Some couples opt to have their first dance alongside other couples on the dance floor, reducing the spotlight on the bride and groom.
Breaking away from popular wedding traditions and creating new trends is becoming more common. Some brides choose not to wear white dresses, and others decide to skip the traditional walk down the aisle.
When the time comes for me to tie the knot, I’ll feel comfortable choosing what feels right for my partner and me, rather than following fleeting trends. If that means forgoing the first dance, so be it.
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