After experiencing a breakup, Connie Li, a software engineer, returned to dating apps with the intention of giving love another chance. However, she found that many of the men who approached her were only interested in casual relationships. In an attempt to filter out these individuals, Li decided to create a unique and detailed dating profile inspired by résumés. She described herself as monogamous, short, and someone who enjoys wearing colorful outfits. She even mentioned that she believed she was a cat in her previous life, albeit a peculiar one that enjoys the company of people.
Li shared her detailed profile, which is now known as a “date-me doc,” on social media platforms, and soon after, she started receiving responses. She noted that there is a certain charm in the “date-me doc” trend that reminds her of the early days of the internet when people met on AOL’s instant messaging service. Despite her foray into alternative dating methods, Li still uses dating apps, albeit less frequently, as she hasn’t found them particularly effective in terms of finding serious matches.
Li, who recently relocated from New York to San Francisco, is part of a small but growing group of individuals who are using Google Docs as a medium for finding love. These “date-me docs” are a combination of a new dating trend and a throwback to the era of newspaper personal ads, quite distinct from the bios found on algorithm-driven, swipe-based dating apps. The declining growth of top dating apps last year, as reported by Morgan Stanley, also indicates that people are experiencing dating app burnout and are exploring alternative means of finding romance, such as professional matchmakers or social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram.
Although “date-me docs” haven’t gained widespread popularity, they have attracted attention from urbanites who work in the technology industry and live in major U.S. cities. Determining the exact number of “date-me docs” in existence is challenging since some people choose not to publicly post their profiles and instead share them individually with interested parties. However, a database compiled by one “date-me doc” creator includes over 100 profiles from individuals in cities like London, Chicago, Toronto, Dayton, Ohio, and Denver. Another database features profiles from Seattle, Ottawa, São Paulo, and Los Angeles.
While “date-me docs” don’t follow a specific structure, they generally consist of plain-text documents that include information such as age, gender, sexual orientation, hobbies, and interests. Some profiles resemble polished websites, complete with attractive designs, photographs, and embedded music tracks, while others adopt a more extended résumé format.
José Luis Ricón, a 30-year-old from Madrid working at a biotech start-up in Silicon Valley, started creating a “date-me doc” after going on mediocre dates through dating apps. Ricón has gone on dates with four out of six women who reached out to him after reading his Google Docs bio. He mentioned that meetings with these individuals already felt familiar due to the shared experience of being “date-me doc” creators within the same social network.
The Pew Research Center survey, which involved 6,034 people in the United States, found that about half of dating app users had positive experiences. However, the survey also revealed an increasing dissatisfaction among users, with 46% reporting negative overall experiences, slightly higher than the 42% in 2019. Women were more likely to have negative experiences, with approximately two-thirds of women under 50 on dating apps reporting physical threats, unwanted continued contact, offensive language, or sexual harassment.
These negative experiences have prompted some individuals to search for alternative methods of finding love. While “date-me docs” are not yet mainstream, they serve as a potential remedy to dating app burnout. Jessica Engle, a therapist and dating coach based in the Bay Area, describes “date-me docs” as a blend of older dating sites like OKCupid, which allow users to create longer profiles, and traditional matchmaking within one’s social circle. Engle notes that the limited number of people opting for this method can result in fewer matches.
Some individuals tend to share too much information about themselves in their “date-me docs,” often being overly critical. Katja Grace, a 36-year-old artificial intelligence researcher, suggests that people focus on highlighting why they would make good partners instead of emphasizing negative aspects of themselves. Grace received around 100 responses from men and women after posting her “date-me doc” on Twitter in April, and although some responses held promise, she continues to date those who reached out to her through her profile.
Steve Krouse, a 29-year-old who resides in Brooklyn, created a centralized database of “date-me docs” after seeing them posted on various websites. Krouse believes that this trend is not for everyone and requires individuals to be part of an internet culture that values collaboration and open sharing. In his own “date-me doc,” Krouse mentions his shyness when it comes to public dancing and his lack of enthusiasm for traveling, allowing potential matches to determine whether they align with his preferences.
Krouse acknowledges that an online description can only provide limited information, but he finds this method more efficient than randomly meeting strangers at a bar. He claims to have never gone to a bar to meet someone, as the concept seems foreign to him.
In conclusion, “date-me docs” offer a unique approach to online dating, catering to those who are disenchanted with dating apps. Though still a niche trend, “date-me docs” attract individuals in the technology industry living in major U.S. cities. These documents serve as a hybrid of older dating sites and traditional matchmaking, providing more extensive information about the writer’s personality and interests. While they may not be suitable for everyone, “date-me docs” offer an alternative means of finding love in the age of digital dating.
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