The distinction between those who genuinely strive for societal improvement and those who amplify the symptoms of societal chaos is clear. While we are often encouraged to embrace temporary solutions, we can’t help but be frustrated as our problems continue to escalate to unimaginable levels. As time passes, our society continues to deteriorate. However, the influential individuals who rely on our failing health for their own gain dismiss those who are curious enough to uncover the root causes of our downfall. But what if there’s a common solution to nearly every major issue we discuss? What if we don’t need government intervention to restore our society’s immune system?
According to Pew Research, the United States has the highest rate of children living in single-parent homes in the world. Approximately 23% of American children under the age of 18 live with just one parent, usually their mother. This absence of fathers from our children’s lives has resulted in a generation of lost individuals who struggle to find their place in the world. I personally know this struggle, as I was once in the same situation. Furthermore, children from single-parent homes are 40 times more likely to experience abuse compared to those who live in two-parent households with their biological parents.
As a result of lacking guidance from their fathers, our children embark on a confusing and harsh journey, susceptible to exploitation by malevolent actors. Unfortunately, these lost children often grow up to become destroyers of our society or give birth to the next generation of destroyers. Alternatively, they may resort to self-medication, leading to their own demise. Childhood trauma lies at the core of every major social issue we face today, particularly drug addiction, homelessness, and violent crime. The pain and trauma people experience in their early lives often drive them to use drugs as a means of masking their emotional turmoil. Those who grew up as vulnerable and abused children from single-parent homes are particularly prone to resorting to drugs as a coping mechanism.
When our boys exhibit violent behavior, it is often because they were never taught how to regulate their emotions appropriately. The absence of their fathers exacerbates the fire burning inside them, resulting in havoc unleashed upon society. Childhood trauma is strongly associated with drug abuse and a higher prevalence of mental illness.
As our families disintegrate, so does our children’s mental well-being. Unfortunately, we prioritize our own selfish desires over the stability and happiness of our children. We convince ourselves that our children are resilient, allowing us to separate from our partners. We justify this separation by avoiding the uncomfortable truth that we have sacrificed our children’s well-being for our own personal gain. I, too, was a lost child who longed for his father’s attention but received silence instead. At the tender age of 6, I found myself in a mental health facility contemplating suicide. However, what I needed was not medication or doctors, but the presence and love of my father.
If we can acknowledge that our environment plays a significant role in shaping who we become, it should come as no surprise that individuals who grew up in dysfunctional settings are more likely to exhibit chaotic behavior. These individuals are simply the grown-up versions of the children we have long neglected, only now gaining attention when they set the world ablaze.
This Father’s Day should not only be a day to appreciate the fathers who chose to remain devoted to their children but also a day to advocate for reconciliation between absent fathers and their children. It should be a day for mothers to encourage these fathers to make amends and restore their children’s sense of direction. While the government cannot enact legislation to force fathers to be involved in their children’s lives, as a society, we can refuse to accept subpar standards of parental involvement. We must prioritize our children over ourselves.
I have personally chosen to become the compass upon which my son can always rely for guidance. I refuse to repeat the mistakes of my own father. A society that reunites fathers with their children will ultimately lead to healthier individuals and fewer visits to the doctor.
Adam B. Coleman, the author of “Black Victim to Black Victor” and the founder of Wrong Speak Publishing, emphasizes the importance of this cause. You can follow him on Substack: adambcoleman.substack.com.
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