As I lay in the overcrowded emergency room, my mind was consumed with worry about my work assignment rather than my health. The thought of disappointing my team, the university, and the Cebu Province Registry of Deeds weighed heavily on me. Despite my best efforts to practice social distancing and maintain good health, I was hit hard by COVID-19, right in the midst of a special assignment. I spent a month in the hospital under intensive observation, but despite the various treatments I received, my condition showed no improvement. My doctors tried everything they could, hoping that one treatment would work. The pandemic made it clear how unpredictable fate can be and shattered my belief in my own invincibility.
The Yiddish expression “der mensch tracht, un Gott lacht,” meaning “When man plans, God laughs,” perfectly sums up my experience during the pandemic. Despite the significant changes brought about by the pandemic, I initially believed that I had everything under control. I even felt a sense of pride in living through one of the defining events of the 21st century. I immersed myself in news updates and scientific literature about the pandemic. I even bought cycling gear to stay fit and healthy. At that time, I was in the best physical shape of my life. However, in the field of psychology, there is an ongoing debate about the adaptive value of depression. Experts discuss its origin and why it has not been “pruned out” of our DNA if it does not serve a purpose. One theory suggests that depression and its symptoms may be an evolved adaptation that keeps individuals focused on resolving complex interpersonal issues. I would like to think that I am living proof of this theory.
When I was finally discharged from the hospital, I had very little energy left. Climbing the stairs felt like a marathon, and remembering what I had for lunch was like solving a difficult math problem. My mind was foggy, and my body was weak, but my spirit remained unbroken. Throughout my recovery, I constantly battled with my inner demons, grieving for my shattered mind and body. Frustrated, I pushed myself to do things that hindered my recovery. I would pretend that I could still think and process information as I used to, only to fail miserably. I tried to resume exercising at my previous pace, but it always ended with severe nosebleeds and another trip to the hospital. As my classmates took leaves of absence, I felt overwhelmed by the university’s rigorous standards. However, I realized that I had been given a second chance at life and I didn’t want to live the way I used to.
As someone who prided themselves on their independence, I used to view those who crumbled under pressure as weak and flawed. But the pandemic became a test that revealed the flaws in my own arrogance and self-reliance. I swallowed my pride and reached out to those closest to me for help. I faced the reality of living with severe post-COVID symptoms and took each day one step at a time. I learned that seeking help and guidance is not a sign of weakness but a strength. Every step I took up the stairs without losing my breath was a small victory, and every paragraph I wrote felt like an accomplishment worthy of recognition. It was during those moments that I accepted the inevitability of adversity in life and realized that I should strive to be a better version of myself instead of longing for a life without challenges.
Pig iron is a strong metal that is prone to breaking rather than bending. Similarly, I am still the same strong and determined person at my core, but the pandemic has tempered me and reshaped my beliefs to make me more resilient and stronger. In the words of Saint Madeleine Barat, “As iron is fashioned by fire and on the anvil, so in the fire of suffering and under the weight of trials, our souls receive that form which our Lord desires them to have.”
Note: The mentioned phrases and quotes have been rephrased for the purpose of improving syntax, tone, and SEO.
Denial of responsibility! VigourTimes is an automatic aggregator of Global media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, and all materials to their authors. For any complaint, please reach us at – [email protected]. We will take necessary action within 24 hours.
