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Have you ever pondered on the magnificence of the Roman empire? This curiosity has taken TikTok by storm as women (predominantly from the western hemisphere) are astonished to discover that their male partners share a profound interest in swords, gladiators, and aqueducts.
In a revelation reminiscent of John Gray’s groundbreaking book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” published in 1992, this question has exposed a fundamental disconnect between the genders, revealing stark differences in their thought processes. Women are perplexed as to why anyone would contemplate a civilization that flourished two millennia ago, while men are bewildered by the absence of such thoughts.
When TikTok user Billie Kay Asmus prompted the question, one man replied, “Let me get my list.” He proceeded to consult his phone, revealing a range of reasons for his fascination with ancient Rome: “Cement. Aqueducts, which is of course plumbing that we know. Sanitation. Roads — every time you’re on a road, you can thank a Roman. Social care, that was designed by the Romans. Obviously, the Julian calendar that we have come to know. Otherwise, some bits of surgery. Some of the modern legal system…”
Others approach the topic more lightheartedly, expressing their admiration for the strength and physicality of the ancient Romans. There are even those who think about the Romans every time they use the bathroom, appreciating their expertise in sewer systems.
While the trend gains more traction, some responses may be influenced by external factors. However, the majority of answers appear genuine. Men are predominantly in awe of the Romans’ achievements, marveling at their absolute dominion and mastery of all aspects of civilization, and questioning how such power ultimately slipped away. Some draw metaphorical comparisons, wondering if we are on the cusp of another monumental shift. Others contemplate the wisdom of Stoics, with Marcus Aurelius now unexpectedly finding a following among millions of men subscribing to daily apps featuring his teachings.
The last time I thought about the Romans was while standing in the Pantheon, in June. The architectural marvel left me pondering what we have truly accomplished in the past 2,000 years. Any recognition of Roman achievements serves as a reminder of our own mediocrity. While the Romans granted us underfloor heating and the oculus, we offer crumbling concrete, microplastics, and an avalanche of Nespresso pods.
How can we measure up to a civilization that excelled in every domain, from construction to entertainment? Is this what men contemplate when they think of the Romans? Or are they simply indulging in a red-blooded fantasy about all-powerful masculinity, even if it involves wearing an armored skirt?
Various theories circulate on TikTok, many of which seem nonsensical. However, one opinion worth considering comes from esteemed scholar of Ancient Rome, Dame Mary Beard. She muses, “I wonder if it is the safe way of allowing yourself to be a bit macho (after all it’s 2,000 years ago). I think my job, as a woman who writes about Rome, is to make them see Rome’s softer side.”
The Roman empire trend is both endearing and surprising. It’s charming to find a subject that unites males of all ages. A young boy even described his fascination with an aqueduct to his mother with such excitement and competence that one can’t help but share in his joy. There’s also something sweet in the coy admission of many men that they think about the Romans “only” two or three times a week, as if it’s a guilty pleasure.
Beard is onto something. In a time when gender politics are explosive, the Roman empire question redefines ancient boundaries and reinforces gendered behaviors, but in a safer and generally benign space for discussion. At a time when a preoccupation with violence, war, and bloodsports is unfashionable, the Romans provide a gateway for men to immerse themselves in pure testosterone. (It also bodes well for the sequel of “Gladiator,” featuring the captivating Paul Mescal.)
This prompts the question: What occupies the minds of women during these Roman contemplations? Is there a subject that could be predicted to captivate women on a weekly basis? The feminist in me would argue that women are preoccupied with issues concerning fertility, such as menstrual cycles, reproduction, and motherhood. Perhaps if these concerns were not so pervasive, women would have more mental space for pondering the Stoics. However, in reality, I am more likely to be thinking about World War I, Princess Diana, or a true crime story, or some combination of the three.
Currently, I find myself on a plane heading to Milan, and all I can think is how uncomfortably tight my trousers feel. It dawns on me that the Romans had already solved the conundrums of attire thousands of years ago. Instead of jeans, I should have opted for a toga for this flight.
Email Jo at [email protected]
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