A study conducted by the social psychologist Sara Konrath over a decade ago revealed that narcissism rates were increasing among Americans, while empathy was decreasing. To further investigate Americans’ connections, Konrath turned to attachment theory, which identified four basic attachment styles. The study analyzed nearly 100 other studies that assessed college students’ attachment styles and found a concerning trend: a 15% decrease in secure attachment and a spike in the dismissive and fearful attachment types. These two attachment types are associated with a lack of trust and self-isolation.
While the trends initially worried Konrath, the good news is that narcissism rates have since declined, and empathy rates have increased. However, the more recent analysis still showed a drop in secure attachment rates and a rise in fearful attachment. The decline in secure attachment shouldn’t come as a surprise since levels of social trust have been decreasing among Americans for some time.
Some researchers believe that the major change to pay attention to is the rise of social media and smartphones, which are associated with less face-to-face interaction. The increasing importance placed on boundaries, the decrease in the number of people aspiring to marry or have children, and the rise of dating apps, which allow users to swipe through potential partners, are other theories put forward to explain the rise in insecure attachment.
Even though the reasons for the rise in insecure attachment are unknown, the experts remain surprisingly hopeful. Therapists like Michael Hilgers know that people with attachment issues can change. Our culture puts a lot of value on trusting your gut, but that’s not always the right move. Sometimes you have to override your instinct and make connections to change.
Konrath has reconstrued her role as a teacher to show students that she’s consistent, kind, and safe. Chopik believes that change can happen naturally as people grow more securely attached over time. As we make friends, go on first dates, fall in love, and get heartbroken, we learn about relationships.
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