- Aline Laurent-Mayard, asexual, created an award-winning podcast about their experiences.
- As a parent, Laurent-Mayard is raising their child without assigning a gender.
- They avoid gender roles during playtime and discuss sex and romance using “if” statements.
Aline Laurent-Mayard, an asexual, is teaching their child about sexuality and desire without assumptions. Their approach can benefit any parent, involving a diversification of relationship types and avoiding societal norms.
For Laurent-Mayard, attraction isn’t about sexual or romantic desires, but rather shared interests or humor. They identify as asexual and aromantic, having discovered these labels during their high school years when they felt isolated from their sexually-driven peers.
Laurent-Mayard, now 35, has a podcast called “Free From Desire” discussing asexuality. The podcast received a nonfiction award at the Tribeca Film Festival. As a parent, they are raising their child without imposing a specific gender on them, starting with a gender-neutral name.
Laurent-Mayard recognizes the societal pressure to label children’s gender and sexuality early on, but believes it’s crucial to let them explore their identities independently. After struggling with their own gender and sexual identity, they are intentionally keeping gender out of their child’s education and playtime activities.
“I want to make sure that my kid knows that there are so many possibilities,” Laurent-Mayard told Insider.
Laurent-Mayard’s parenting tips can be applied by any parent:
Use gender-neutral pronouns with strangers and new friends
Laurent-Mayard avoids assuming someone’s gender or sexuality when out with their child. They use gender-neutral pronouns until the person shares their identity. This teaches their child the concept of options outside of traditional norms.
As their child grows older, Laurent-Mayard plans to expand on age-appropriate topics like consent and pleasure.
Avoid romanticizing typical interactions
Laurent-Mayard refrains from making assumptions about relationships, particularly when observing other children. They don’t make blanket statements like “Oh, they’re dating!” or “You must be in love!” Instead, they encourage their child to see different forms of attraction like admiration.
When discussing romantic partnership and physical intimacy, Laurent-Mayard uses “if” statements instead of “when” statements to emphasize that these experiences are not requirements for a fulfilling life.
Make playtime genderless
During playtime, Laurent-Mayard avoids reinforcing gender stereotypes. They remind their child that anyone can engage in activities like yard work, cooking, or playing with dolls or trucks, regardless of their identity.
Don’t take storybooks at face value
When reading books featuring heterosexual-looking couples and children, Laurent-Mayard encourages imagination. They suggest alternate interpretations like a same-sex couple, platonic friends raising a child together, or an aunt figure.
By challenging societal expectations and offering diverse perspectives, Laurent-Mayard allows their child to make their own decisions regarding relationships and identities.
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