Greetings, dear reader,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I sincerely hope everything is progressing smoothly.
I must say it’s impressive that you and your partner have discussed family finance and the various options for managing income and childcare. Unfortunately, it appears that the economic circumstances have turned unfavorable just as you were preparing for this life-changing transition into parenthood.
Transitions can be challenging. This is a significant change for all three of you, so it’s important to allow yourselves space and time to adjust.
While it may become more urgent to have a plan as the months go by, I propose considering a more flexible approach than what you have outlined. If you’re not ready to envision life without your career but desire to spend more time at home after the baby is born, you can negotiate maternity leave with the intent of returning to work. Allow yourself the opportunity to reassess your feelings when the time comes.
It’s statistically proven that women face earnings and promotion disadvantages due to societal biases. Many women I know choose alternative careers or self-employment because certain workplaces lack the flexibility required to balance work and motherhood.
Furthermore, society often places unequal expectations on men and women when it comes to domestic duties. This contributes to the perceived “normal” division of care and labor.
Instead of charging your partner, I suggest a more collaborative approach. How about this: share the income evenly, regardless of who earns it. Combine all earned income, including your part-time or self-employment earnings and his salary, in a “team bank account.” Family expenses are then paid from this account, and the remaining balance is divided between you. This approach ensures fairness.
Your partner may believe he has better earning and promotion prospects, which is likely influenced by gender biases. You, on the other hand, have expressed a desire to be a stay-at-home parent. By adopting a caring-earning dynamic within the team, both of you can benefit. Ultimately, the goal is to have a content life, a healthy child, and a satisfactory family income.
Consider discussing what should come out of the team bank account. I recommend allocating pension contributions to the primary carer, as the government recognizes that parents and caregivers often miss out on pensions. Up to £3,600 per year can be contributed, and the team bank account only needs to pay £2,880, with £720 in tax relief. This contribution can greatly benefit your pension. A valuable bonus!
The team bank account should also provide insurance in case the carer becomes unable to continue their responsibilities due to health reasons. This insurance would cover the cost of continued care. Unfortunately, the value of a carer’s responsibilities is often overlooked, and while earners may receive sick pay, carers typically don’t.
It’s also essential to discuss aspects like the holiday budget and personal care expenses, such as cosmetics or dental costs. Clarifying expectations regarding these expenses will help maintain a healthy family budget.
Managing the family budget as a team is a commendable habit. By practicing fiscal responsibility and aiming to increase earnings collectively, you can expect positive outcomes.
By adopting a team bank account approach, both you and your partner can genuinely benefit from earning and promotion prospects. The share of remaining income after family expenses can then be transferred to individual accounts, allowing for privacy and autonomy.
Charging your partner for your time as a carer may inadvertently create an employer-employee dynamic rather than fostering a collaborative family environment. It’s important to avoid potential distortions that could arise from such an arrangement.
What are your thoughts? Share them in the comments below, and we’ll feature the best responses. Alternatively, you can email us – in confidence – with your own Moral Money questions at: [email protected]
Last week’s Moral Money question was: “I found a ring in a gym in Oxford. Can I keep it?”
Here are some noteworthy comments:
James Phillipps:
If the ring is valuable, it’s advisable to put up some signs with pictures in the gym. It likely holds sentimental value for someone, and the fact that the woman who found it is eager to keep it suggests its desirability.
William Logan:
Historically, if one found something valuable and turned it in to the police, they were entitled to keep it after a specified period. There’s no reason why this should change just because the police may not be effectively administering it. In fact, this practice encourages honesty and the pursuit of finding the rightful owners.
I once found a wallet with about a thousand pounds in it, and I handed it in at the police station. The owner claimed the wallet and, as a reward for finding it, was obliged to give me 5% of the cash. This was the rule at the time, and it seemed to work well.
J Troughton:
Firstly, you did the right thing by returning the ring to the gym. I believe that if the gym takes all reasonable steps to find the owner and no one comes forward, the ring should be returned to you.
However, if the original owner is later identified, you should return the ring to them. The timeframe for such identification should be reasonable and later. Every case will have its unique circumstances, making it impossible to have a one-size-fits-all solution.
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