Shopping for Wedding Dresses While My Mom Was in the Hospital

• My partner and I have been together for 17 years.
• We relocated from the US to Spain when my mom retired and moved here.
• When my mom ended up in the hospital, I hurriedly bought a wedding dress.

Our story began when a friend, who worked as an event manager at a hotel, questioned us about our marital status. She had witnessed our professional relationship firsthand, working alongside us in high-pressure situations, and was surprised to learn that we hadn’t taken the plunge into marriage.

“Why not have your wedding here? We’ll handle all the arrangements,” she suggested.

After being together for 17 years, my partner and I liked the idea of celebrating our love with our loved ones in a beautiful venue. Our mothers, both in their 80s, were getting older, and if we ever wanted to have a wedding, it had to be soon. We chose the date of August 19, 2023, and started sending out save-the-date invitations.

The importance of my mom in the wedding

As a mostly do-it-yourself (DIY) bride with my closest friends living miles away, I entrusted my mother with the significant role of being my stylist. She is an artist and an incredible SuperAger, an individual over 80 with the cognitive abilities of someone much younger.

However, her body is 85, and her heart struggles to keep up with her active mind.

Two months before the wedding, my mother experienced swelling in her legs, prompting a visit to the hospital. After undergoing various tests, she was diagnosed with arrhythmia and prescribed anticoagulation medication to prevent stroke or blood clots. Despite her health concerns, she still insisted on shopping for my wedding dress, but I decided to postpone it until she felt better.

Unfortunately, a summer cold escalated into a severe cough, raising our concerns. We returned to the emergency room, where it was confirmed that she had pneumonia. She was admitted for five days of treatment, and I witnessed my mother in a state of exhaustion, frustration, and disorientation like never before.

Following my visit to the hospital, I immediately headed to Pronovias, a store specializing in wedding attire. Although I knew I needed an appointment for a proper viewing, time was of the essence. If I gave up on this wedding now, I would essentially be giving up on my mother as well.

A mix of emotions as I entered the showroom

“My wedding is in one month, my mom is in the hospital, and I don’t have a dress,” I expressed with a somber tone.

Within the showroom, I noticed a group of young women excitedly discussing the dresses their vibrant bride was trying on. The contrast between them, in their mid-20s and avidly sharing their experiences on Instagram, and me, a 52-year-old alone in the midst of it all, was striking. Tatiana, the saleswoman who greeted me, picked up on this contrast.

Tatiana treated me with utmost care and consideration, presenting various styles and seeking feedback from my mother through photos. As Tatiana made adjustments to the chosen dress, enhancing my bust, it reminded me of a story my mother used to share.

She once designed a party dress specifically to accommodate breastfeeding me. It was the only time in her life where she had cleavage, and she wanted to show it off. I remember shedding tears before the party as she breastfed me on both sides to keep the dress even. By the time I finished feeding, the front of the dress no longer fit, and she had to change.

While scrolling through the photos of my wedding dress, ready to share them with my friends, I noticed one picture preceding it—an image I had captured of my mother’s hospital bracelet ID before leaving her side.

Thankfully, my mother sounded much better the following morning.

I anxiously asked the doctor about her prognosis, and he assured me that she would pull through. The vision of our wedding day, with my mother standing by my side, was restored.

Now, all that’s left is to find the perfect pair of shoes.