Britain’s Ministry of Metaphor
had yet another eventful week as the country’s leading provider of water, Thames Water, faces a potential collapse. This situation once again highlights the inherent problems with privatized monopolies, worsened by a regulatory body that is utterly inept. If you thought leveraged debt was problematic in the case of the Glazers and Manchester United, the consequences are even more dire when water companies demand a staggering 40% increase in bills just for the basic necessity of clean water. These companies have acted like unscrupulous builders, overcharging unsuspecting customers for shoddy work and now demanding more money to rectify their mistakes.
But let’s revisit early January when the prime minister presented his government’s five pledges. Many political experts argued that these targets were relatively easy to achieve. Rishi Sunak himself stated, “Those are the people’s priorities. We will either fulfill them or not. No tricks, no ambiguity. We’re either delivering for you or we’re not.”
Brace yourself for the shocking truth – they have failed to deliver. Inflation is rising, a recession looms, the Rwanda immigration scheme has been deemed unlawful, the UK debt-to-GDP ratio is at its highest since 1961, and NHS waiting lists have reached catastrophic levels. Surprisingly, amidst these significant challenges, the spotlight remains on figures like Jacob Rees-Mogg and Nadine Dorries, who appear more interested in currying favor with Boris Johnson than serving the public.
The government had hoped to shift attention to their new “once in a generation” NHS plan today, despite there being multiple similar plans within the last decade. However, as I write this, Zac Goldsmith has resigned as a minister, expressing dismay at the lack of environmental commitment from Sunak, who chose to attend Rupert Murdoch’s party instead of the Paris climate summit.
Sunak’s ability to handle these daily setbacks is questionable. He more closely resembles a collection of empty promises rather than a competent prime minister. His recent advice to those struggling with mortgage payments – “Hold your nerve” – is absurd and out of touch.
There are scenarios where one might argue that Sunak is making a philosophical point about the limitations of governance, similar to King Cnut. Unfortunately, it’s more likely that Sunak, once seen as the “cool” face of the Conservative party, is simply disconnected from reality. It’s not surprising to witness him respond to various crises with catchphrases like “I’m on it!”
But is he really on it? The government has already spent over £120 million on the ill-fated Rwanda scheme, and counting. Perhaps Sunak’s best defense is that it’s an expensive blunder that can be offset by involving his wife in the income tax system.
It’s difficult to believe that Sunak will successfully revive a government that has been reset more times than a person’s Gmail password. Maybe that’s the issue – too many attempts at finding a passcode have left ministers locked out of effective governance. Perhaps there’s a secret shop on one of the UK’s abandoned high streets that can miraculously unlock governments. If you happen to know of one, please send the coordinates to Downing Street. Until then, the Sunak administration remains a study in inefficiency on multiple fronts, leaving Goldsmith to aptly describe it as “paralyzed.”
The water crisis serves as a symbol of these systemic failures and their detrimental impact on ordinary individuals who cannot afford the consequences. What’s even more ludicrous is the government’s response, acting as though this crisis is happening to them rather than being a result of their own actions. However, the government cannot claim ignorance, as the then environment secretary, Michael Gove, warned about the specific problems within the water industry in 2018. Excessive profits, salaries, offshore financial arrangements, dividend payments, and highly leveraged firms like Thames Water were all highlighted. Unfortunately, nothing was done. The government’s focus at the time was solely on finalizing a Brexit deal, leaving crucial issues on the sidelines.
Another casualty of this government’s mismanagement was pandemic preparedness. The ongoing Covid inquiry has revealed how vast administrative resources were devoted to planning for a no-deal Brexit, which hindered many other vital contingency plans. But who could have predicted the severity of the consequences? The water industry, ignoring Gove’s concerns, arrogantly looked forward to their regulator dispelling the debate with “sorely needed facts and balance.”
Well, that tide has now turned, and it is a tsunami of disastrous proportions. The pandemic preparedness timebomb exploded with devastating results, and there are numerous other timebombs waiting to explode. The government has spiraled into a self-destructive cycle, where their inaction is more detrimental than their actions.
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