Editor’s Note: Every Tuesday, Abby Freireich and Brian Platzer take questions from readers about their kids’ education. Have one? Email them at [email protected].
Dear Abby and Brian,
Parent-teacher-conference day is approaching, and I am filled with apprehension. Honestly, it’s a feeling I experience every year. It’s like an annual performance review, but for my son. This year, the conference will be held over Zoom, which adds to my uneasiness since I won’t be able to gauge the teacher’s body language as easily. My son is in fifth grade. He’s a well-behaved child with average or above-average academic abilities. It upsets me to hear any negative feedback about him because I feel like I am being harshly judged. I also find discussions about the curriculum to be pointless. By the third or fourth quarter of the year, I either already know it or simply don’t care. As teachers, do you have any advice on how to make the most of these conferences or at least make them less dreadful?
Geoff
Henderson, Nev.
Dear Geoff,
Parent-teacher conferences can be anxiety-inducing for both parents and teachers, as well as the students under discussion. However, despite these understandable feelings, we suggest that you try to set aside your apprehension and approach the meeting as an opportunity—to learn more about your son, to ask specific questions that will provide insights into his strengths and challenges, and to collaborate with the teacher in supporting him.
To make the most of the conference, it’s essential that you do your own preparation. Create a list of questions regarding your son’s progress. Review his report card comments and grades, and take into account any information he has shared with you about specific classes. For instance, if he claims that math is easy but his grades indicate otherwise, discuss this discrepancy with his teacher to identify the underlying cause. Is he lacking motivation? Is he rushing through his work? Or does he genuinely struggle with a subject he believes he excels in? Similarly, if he is facing difficulties in English, find out if he is performing well in vocabulary quizzes and submitting his work on time but struggling to comprehend the plot of a specific book. In each case, consult the teacher for recommendations on how to help your son improve.
Moreover, parent-teacher conferences provide insights into your child’s social life at school, extending beyond academics. Gain an understanding of his friendships, how he spends his time during recess, and any potential challenges he may be facing. Armed with this information, you can discuss these matters with him and provide guidance in fostering new relationships.
Additionally, seize this opportunity to address any behaviors you have noticed at home and inquire whether they also manifest at school. For example, if your son experiences anxiety, discuss this with his teachers and seek advice on how to alleviate his worries. If he tends to rush through homework, the teacher can share effective strategies that have been implemented in the classroom. Understanding the specific approaches used by the teachers will enable you to reinforce them at home.
Remember that parent-teacher conferences are not meant to be performance reviews. They offer valuable insights into your child’s experiences in a setting that you don’t have direct access to. With a comprehensive understanding of your child as a student, classmate, and friend, you will be better equipped to support him both inside and outside the classroom.
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