In September 2019, Heather Cox found herself frustrated as her husband, Wes, seemed more interested in his phone than in sharing a romantic moment under the stars. Determined to address the issue, Heather confronted Wes about his phone obsession and the negative impact it had on their connection. This phenomenon of being “phubbed,” or ignored in favor of a cellphone, has become quite common nowadays. However, Heather decided enough was enough and took action to combat this behavior.
Phubbing, as it is commonly known, has been linked to a decline in marital satisfaction. Researchers from Niğde Ömer Halisdemir University in Turkey conducted a study in May 2023 that found phubbing to be a harmful behavior for both the person doing the phubbing and the one being phubbed. A separate analysis from the University of Münster in Germany in July 2022 revealed that phubbing can lead to negative moods, feelings of exclusion, and a threat to basic emotional needs in both partners.
The impact of phubbing has not gone unnoticed online, where the #phubbing hashtag has amassed over a million views on TikTok. People who have experienced phubbing’s hurtful effects have taken to social media to express their frustrations. They emphasize that being ignored for a cellphone can make a person feel unimportant and even liken it to a slap in the face. They stress the importance of being present in relationships for better connections.
Despite the negative implications of phubbing, relationship expert Susan Winter believes that it doesn’t necessarily spell doom for a marriage. Winter, who has counseled thousands of couples, suggests having an open and honest conversation with one’s partner about the impact of phubbing. By explaining why it matters and how it affects the relationship, there is a greater likelihood of the partner making a change.
To address her husband’s phubbing, Heather Cox took a unique approach. She created a reusable adhesive sticker called the “Phone Phlag” that she sticks onto her husband’s phone whenever he becomes absorbed in it. Cox, who has a background in graphic design, handcrafted a prototype and began selling the stickers internationally on Etsy. Additionally, Cox and Wes have implemented boundaries on phone usage during family dinners, date nights, and bedtime, leading to positive changes in their relationship.
Through open communication and innovative solutions, couples can overcome the harmful effects of phubbing and create healthier, more fulfilling connections with each other. So, let’s put down the phones and focus on the relationships that truly matter.
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