I arrived at the ecovillage for my weekend retreat one hour late, feeling far from zen. The rain had been relentless during my five-hour drive, and I was in desperate need of some relaxation. Josh Bolding, the spiritual guru and co-founder of the retreat, greeted me with a hug. While I would have preferred a beer, I went along with the man-hug. There was no time for small talk as he hurried me into the practice room, where the other guests were beginning the first session on yin yoga and breathwork.
The timing of the retreat couldn’t have been better. My life had been chaotic since the birth of my daughter two years ago. Though she brought immense joy, the balance between work and family had been a struggle. On top of that, I had been dealing with a serious health condition since I was 19. Last year was particularly challenging for me.
I soon learned that men-focused wellness retreats were rare, but there was a growing interest in prioritizing mental health. I, like many others, had found it difficult to find a safe space to open up about my struggles. That’s why I decided to attend Both Sides Retreats, a retreat aimed at creating a safe environment for men to connect with their masculinity and improve their relationships.
My initial apprehensions grew when I discovered the activities we would be doing, including jiu-jitsu and wild swimming, both of which were foreign to me. The retreat also had a vegan-only menu and limited phone signal. It seemed like a combination of intense physical activity and a tech detox.
One of the most impactful moments of the retreat was when we gathered around a campfire and shared our reasons for being there. Men of different backgrounds and experiences opened up about their vulnerabilities without the aid of alcohol. The silence that followed was filled with deep meaning and understanding.
Throughout the retreat, we engaged in various activities like wood-carving and jiu-jitsu, and enjoyed delicious vegan meals. However, the most profound experience came on the final afternoon during a breathwork session. As we lay on mats with our eyes closed, we practiced conscious connected breathing. It was an out-of-body experience that allowed me to explore an alternate state of consciousness. Tears flowed freely, and I was overcome with emotion.
The retreat provided a much-needed escape from the chaos of daily life and equipped me with tools to navigate future challenges. It was an experience that will stay with me for a lifetime.
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