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Wishing Ed King a Speedy Recovery!
“Hello Daniel! I hope you’re enjoying the rain-filled cricket match. Thank you for keeping OBO interesting enough to ruin my productivity for the day. I was wondering if I could request a shoutout to my teammate Ed King from the Brixton Barbarians. Unfortunately, he had a fielding mishap on Saturday which requires surgery. I’m not sure if it’s his left or right hand, but I’ve heard his middle stump is suffering as well. I believe a mention from the esteemed Graun will boost his spirits.”
I’ve been in a similar situation before. A few years ago, I broke my ring finger on my right hand while standing too close at short extra cover. I also dropped the catch and had to sit out for seven weeks. It was quite grim.
Since you’ve all sent in so many nicknames, here are a few that have amused me:
– Sarah O’Regan – Dazzlebazzle
– John Starbuck – Dannikins
– Colum Fordham – Dan de Lyon
– Sandy Radford – Danchester United/City (delete as appropriate)
– Ed Smyth – Hold Me Closer Tiny Danzo
– Tom Morgan – OBO Dan Kenobi
– John McCaughey – Dannington
– Damian Johnson – Danislav
You’re a peculiar bunch.
The covers are being removed!
Let’s not get too excited just yet. There is still a long way to go, but there are some positive signs.
Just a reminder, play won’t start any earlier than 1.10pm BST / 10.10pm AEST.
Someone named Phil Crockford has called me out:
“Hold on, the idea that ‘bazball’ hasn’t been tested before is a bit revisionist.
New Zealand were the defending World Test Champions, India were the finalists, and South Africa began the series as the number 1 ranked team in the world. How many England teams have won a test series 3-0 in Pakistan?
I don’t think anyone expected England to win 11 out of the next 13 tests after the McCullum/Stokes revolution. Especially considering their previous form with only 2 wins out of 14, coming from a series they lost in the West Indies.
England might win or lose this game and the series, but they have played exceptional cricket against some formidable teams for over a year now.
The Pakistan series was outstanding and solidified their ideology. South Africa’s batting was terrible (not a single batsman had an average in the 40s) and the Kiwis were not the same team that won the Mace.
I don’t want to take anything away from Baz and Ben, but this is their true test. So far, they’re succeeding. I predict they will win this Test.”
“Hi Dan, loving the OBO as always.” Cheers, David Nicholls. Despite the lack of cricket, it has been an interesting day.
Regarding the nicknames, I recently joined a village cricket team. During my third appearance, when I was about to start bowling off breaks, the usual call came from the sidelines: “bowler’s name…?”
“Nichols,” my team replied.
“Knickers???” replied the scorer.
Resigned to my fate, I turned to the umpire and said, “That’s going to [bleep]ing stick…”
Separately, do you have any indication if there is a debate within the actual team regarding Bairstow/Foakes as the keeper and Stokes/Root as the openers? It feels a bit like when commentators start debating a declaration three sessions before a team even considers it (excluding BazBall). Are we just fabricating the debate, or is it a possibility?
That’s a great question, Knickers. I believe this team has settled on their roles internally. Unless Bairstow makes a couple of costly errors and England loses, I don’t see a shift happening in the next game. Root won’t open, as he is the world’s best batter and settled at number four. I also find it unlikely that Stokes will open. But hey, who knows?
Let’s quietly whisper… the sky is starting to clear, but there won’t be any play for at least an hour. The match is expected to start at 1.10pm local time (10.10pm east coast Australia).
Schrödinger’s Test? Just don’t peek inside the box, Kelvin MacDonald Fraser.
“Hi Dan, The Family Solicitor here. Luckily, I work from home, but I’m finding it extremely hard to concentrate on my work today due to the anticipation building during this rain delay. It’s difficult to determine who has the upper hand. In fact, I’ve come to the baffling conclusion that both sides are slight favorites and marginal underdogs at the same time!
“It’s as if the combination of unconventional Bazball, tough competition, and the collective consciousness of The Ashes has created the ultimate cricketing paradox. The match is so finely balanced that it currently exists in a ‘superposition’ of all possible states. This, my friend, is ‘Schrödinger’s Test!'”
Bazball continues to convert: “Hi Dan, despite being named Kieran, everyone refers to me as Trev. This is my first time watching a long-form cricket match in the Ashes, and I have been captivated by it. It may take a long time, but it’s not the slow sport I thought it was. I’ll be following the entire Test series.”
I love this, thank you Kieran ‘Trev’ Robinson. As Andy Bull mentioned at the start of the series, this Ashes could revive the format. Cricket prevails over logic.
Did you all read Jonny Liew’s moving piece about rain, cricket, and fathers? No? Please take a break from scrolling and read it. It’s incredible, as expected. I wonder how many sons and fathers are currently gathered at Edgbaston, contemplating what to say to each other.
“Hi Danosauresrex – greetings from an Aussie in Nairobi.” G’day to you, Andy Raine, the appropriately named Aussie in Nairobi.
“In Kenya, Kilumi dance rituals are used to ‘pray for rain.’ The outcome of the sacred dance can determine life or death. This morning, I believe I saw some British expats performing it in the forest. It looked weird and inappropriate.”
Absolutely. As I mentioned before, it’s a very silly game.
“One must never forget the irony that the English invented a game that requires five continuous days of sunshine!”
Family feud on the OBO?
Dear “Dan The Lion,” not the best nickname, Stephen Lock, but I’ll accept it.
“My little brother Andrew was mentioned on OBO around 2005. It’s one of the proudest moments of his life, and he even brags about it to this day. He thinks it makes him a better person than me. Is he right?”
Yes, he is, Steve, or at least he was. But now you too can have bragging rights. Remember to bring it up at your next family event.
Speaking of, well, unusual habits. I once interviewed South African fast bowler Makhaya Ntini about his superstitions. He grew up in the rural Eastern Cape as a barefooted cattle herder. Throughout his professional career, he kept dried cow dung in his kit bag for good luck. He would even kiss it! But here’s the kicker: “Not many people know this, but if I struggled during a session, I would sometimes go and pee on my hands…”
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