My last vivid memory of a former close friendship revolves around an evening spent watching an episode of the FXX show Dave. It was during the summer, celebrating his birthday with a few others. As we laughed together, relating to the characters who were all striving to achieve success in their respective fields, little did I know that our friendship would come to an abrupt end the next day. However, in the aftermath of the breakup, I found solace and enlightenment in Dave, as it shed light on the complexities of friendship.
Dave is a semi-autobiographical show about Dave Burd, also known as Lil Dicky, a white rapper who has achieved some level of success in real life. The show also humorously emphasizes Lil Dicky’s small, deformed penis (a result of a rare birth defect and surgeries), which he embraces both within and outside the series, advocating body positivity. The show revolves around Dave and his friends, who have become entangled in his quest for global stardom. If you can imagine a fusion of Larry David’s neuroticism, Kanye West’s hubris, and a lighthearted obsession with genitalia, you’ll get a sense of the unique protagonist.
Similar to the show Atlanta, Dave combines humor, moodiness, artistic shots, and a commentary on contemporary hip-hop culture. Many real-life rappers and celebrities make appearances, adding comedic effect, while the series cleverly satirizes the challenges faced by a white man trying to make it in a predominantly Black art form. Beyond the laughs and the smoke-filled studio sessions filled with bravado and crude jokes, Dave fundamentally delves into male friendship, challenging the often simplistic portrayal of bromance on-screen. It offers raw depictions of the complexities of male bonding, exploring how race, culture, and ambition can both shape and restrict relationships between men. More importantly, the show highlights how vulnerability can break down these barriers.
In the first season, we are introduced to Mike, Dave’s loyal roommate and close friend who eventually becomes his manager. Their relationship is heartwarming and intimate, with frequent expressions of love and even shared baths where Mike helps Dave treat his back acne. In one scene, Mike eagerly introduces new oils for their bath, showcasing genuine excitement without any punchline. It forced me to question and challenge my preconceived notions of platonic male intimacy.
As the core friend group takes shape, with the addition of Elz, Dave’s witty producer and childhood best friend, the dynamics of their relationships become clearer. Each character brings their own uniqueness to the group, with absurdity, misguidance, and extremity. While race does play a role in their interactions (Elz and GaTa are Black, while Dave and Mike are white), their raucous and tender bond keeps occasional tensions from jeopardizing their closeness.
The show also tackles personal issues that can strain friendships. In one poignant moment from the first season, GaTa’s erratic behavior during a rehearsal for an upcoming concert raises concerns among Dave, Mike, and Elz. They are frustrated with his apparent lack of preparedness but quickly discover that GaTa is bipolar. In a tearful confession, he shares his struggles with a chemical imbalance and the medications he takes to cope. This vulnerability strengthens their bond, and the show repeatedly highlights these collective revelations, reinforcing the deep connection among the four friends. As I rewatched this episode, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own lost friendship, realizing the importance of understanding what others may be going through and the value of curiosity in cultivating a lasting and growing relationship.
In a world marked by isolation, disconnection, and loneliness, portrayals of male companionship like those in Dave are refreshing. Previously, the most common depictions of bromance on-screen were in buddy-cop movies such as Bad Boys and Lethal Weapon, where affection is earned through acts of strength and courage. Even more recent and affectionate comedies like I Love You, Man fail to capture the beauty of male friendship as effectively as Dave does. Dave demonstrates that effusive intimacy can stand on its own, without the need for external conflicts or romantic resolutions.
However, as male intimacy becomes more prominent in popular culture, so does the exploration of its complexities and the pain of rupture. Hua Hsu’s memoir Stay True and Martin McDonagh’s film The Banshees of Inisherin both delve into the challenging nature of broken friendships. Dave, too, skillfully navigates the ruptures between men and offers a path towards healing. Friendships forged in childhood can become complicated in adulthood, as demonstrated through the evolving relationship between Elz and Dave. These two lifelong friends, who have been inseparable since the age of 6, find themselves at odds in Season 2. Dave’s obsessive focus and Elz’s success working with established rappers strain their bond. Their conflicts culminate in a tense game of one-on-one basketball during a bar mitzvah, where their antagonism is expressed through rapid cuts, elbows, sweat, and grunts. It becomes clear that physical sublimation of pain is an insufficient means of resolving conflict. The episode suggests that their inability to communicate openly is the root of their troubles. Still, by the episode’s end, their shared memories of joyous mischief during childhood reunite them in an act of playful defiance, symbolizing that their individual pride is not worth jeopardizing their friendship. Season 3 focuses more on traditional romance, but the friendships among the characters continue to evolve. In the penultimate episode, a documentary about Lil Dicky’s tour is screened, featuring honest testimonials from his friends. These testimonials contain both biting criticisms and expressions of love, leading me to wonder what my friends might express if given a similar opportunity. This introspective moment made me question my role in the end of my own friendship and the torment of not fully understanding what happened. Unfortunately, we never had a chance to engage in a one-on-one game or a moment of vulnerable frustration. Nevertheless, Dave reminds us that pride should never come at the expense of our relationships.
Dave is a show that skillfully explores the complexities and beauty of male friendship, offering both humor and poignant moments. It challenges stereotypes and conventional narratives about bromance, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, understanding, and communication in sustaining and deepening connections. In a world where loneliness and disconnection have become prevalent, Dave serves as a refreshing and insightful portrayal of male companionship, reminding us of the power and significance of our friendships.
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