Republican strategists are strategizing a shift in their messaging on abortion, particularly the term “pro-life,” due to consistent losses during elections. At a recent closed-door meeting, Senate Republicans were presented with poll results that revealed voters’ changing reactions to terms like “pro-life” and “pro-choice” since the Supreme Court decision on Roe v. Wade last year. Here’s how the meeting might have unfolded:
Male Republican Senator 1: Gentlemen, I bring alarming news. It appears that voters, particularly women, are reacting differently to the term “pro-life” at the polls.
Male Republican Senator 2: Women, indeed.
Male Republican Senator 3: Kevin is right. We’re not sure what’s causing this change in perception. Perhaps they’ve grown tired of the letter “L” or find the lack of repetition in “pro-life” unappealing.
Male Republican Senator 4: But the same can be said for “pro-choice.”
Senator 1: No, “pro-choice” has two O’s.
Male Republican Senator 5: Interesting!
Senator 1: We have much to discuss. What has made this slogan so off-putting to voters, sorry, I mean “vessels,” when it used to be so well-received? We need to identify the cause, as it is our absolute right.
Senator 4: Could it be our policies?
Senator 1: Go on, Todd.
Senator 4: Maybe voters, sorry, “baby-containers,” associate “pro-life” with stories of states imposing strict abortion bans, forcing victims of rape to carry their pregnancies, causing dangerous delays in medical care, and threatening legal action against those involved in abortions. Perhaps they see these policies and think, “This is a curtailment of rights!” They may also consider our post-birth policies, or lack thereof.
Senator 5: We don’t have many policies to help after the babies are born.
Senator 4: Exactly. And these “wombs with legs,” as you put it, believe that if this is what “pro-life” stands for, they will vote against it. Perhaps that is why the slogan has lost its appeal.
Senator 1: I believe it’s the slogan itself.
Senator 3: It must be the slogan.
Senator 2: These incubators are never satisfied!
Senator 5: I have an idea. What if we describe our policy as “pro-baby”?
Senator 5: Let’s focus on the details.
Senator 3: Look, as a man who has never had his bodily autonomy threatened, I don’t understand their problem. Our laws are great.
Senator 1: They are winners. Maybe we just need to add an exclamation point to “pro-life.” Pro-life!
Senator 5: That sounds promising. I’ve studied them for years and I believe I once communicated with one.
Senator 1: What did it say?
Senator 5: “Hello,” I think. If only we knew what they wanted! They’re so mysterious! If only they could communicate their desires and preferences, like speaking, just like us.
Senator 3: As a man, I’m confident that I speak for all women when I say we don’t mind the assault on our bodily autonomy. We just need a slightly different slogan. One that is pink, perhaps. Women love pink, or so I believe as a male legislator. And maybe something written on driftwood!
Senator 1: How about “pro-life,” but all the letters are pink and the “I” has a heart on top? Or one that says, “This Barbie Doesn’t Need Reproductive Autonomy.” Has anyone seen the movie “Barbie”?
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Senator 3: No, but I sent a letter expressing my disapproval.
Senator 2: Here’s an idea. Do they really need to vote?
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