- This Father’s Day marks the fifth year without my beloved father.
- He tragically lost his life to mesothelioma, a cancer caused by hazardous material exposure.
- Fortunately, our family received financial compensation due to his work-related health issue.
During my childhood, I was oblivious to the concept of inheritance, and I never anticipated experiencing it myself. In my Philadelphia suburb, everyone had hardworking parents in blue-collar jobs, like janitors, service workers, and laborers. Typically, when a relative passed away, there would be enough money for a funeral and a small gathering afterward. We were unaware of what inheritance truly meant.
A Prelude to Inheritance
From an early age, I sensed that my father’s work in the steel mill was risky. Workplace injuries were common, but the men would recover and return to work. There were also economic risks, with frequent layoffs during the ’80s and ’90s. Those uncertain times would lead to financial instability for our family. Fortunately, the union and generous relatives provided support until my dad found employment again.
During my teenage years, something peculiar started happening. Every few months, a check would arrive in the mail. I didn’t understand what it meant, but my dad would humorously exclaim, “another death check!” My parents would chuckle.
Some checks were meager, barely reaching $100. Others covered indulgent weeklong trips to the Jersey Shore. Death checks. The phrase lingered in my mind, yet the concept remained elusive.
Over time, I discovered that my dad and his coworkers received compensation for their exposure to hazardous materials at work. It felt like free money to us because his job wasn’t supposed to kill him. Or so we believed.
Reality Strikes
One spring morning, a few years after retiring, my dad experienced a sharp pain in his chest while out for a walk. He didn’t deem it a heart attack but knew something was wrong. Several doctor appointments confirmed our worst fears.
Those checks? They were death checks, or more accurately, pre-death checks. He received a diagnosis of mesothelioma, a cancer primarily affecting individuals who have been exposed to toxic materials through their labor-intensive jobs. The outlook was grim, with the prognosis often being terminal.
My dad battled mesothelioma for six months before succumbing to the disease. He never truly believed he would die from cancer. To him, the death checks had been a source of amusement. However, this time it was a serious matter. Unfortunately, he did pass away, and we soon discovered an unexpected consequence—we were entitled to additional compensation due to his work-related illness.
An Unexpected Inheritance
Over the next few years, larger checks arrived. This time, we weren’t talking about vast fortunes or becoming overnight millionaires. Nevertheless, the amount of money received was unimaginable for a teenager like me, growing up as the daughter of a steelworker. It exceeded the mere expenses of a funeral and a modest gathering.
This newfound wealth coincided with my own career advancement and increased earning potential. The arrival of money overwhelmed and, to some extent, embarrassed me. However, it also made me realize that our inheritance extended beyond the financial aspect. My dad, with only a ninth-grade education, and my hardworking mother had paved the way for my success as a first-generation college student. Through their sacrifices, my career and life itself became a well-deserved inheritance.
Many assume that inheriting money is all fun and games, but the truth is that inheritance brings complexity. The newfound freedom feels liberating yet tinged with sorrow. My dad was a carefree soul, and as I deposit those checks, I can almost hear him saying, “Stop being so serious and enjoy it!” Of course, it’s not that simple, and for years, I felt the weight of responsibility to spend the money wisely or not at all. Inheritance can, indeed, be overwhelming.
I Long for Him to Share in Our Wealth
Throughout the past year, I have devoted time to exploring and understanding my relationship with money and wealth. Through courses and books, I uncovered the deep-rooted generational trauma surrounding money. I realized that my struggles extended beyond the present moment.
Ultimately, I realized that much of my sadness regarding the money stemmed from the desire for my dad to be by our side, experiencing it with us. He had worked tirelessly for so long, yet he couldn’t witness the prosperity we gained. Now, I strive to honor him with the inheritance and the freedom it provides. After substantial self-reflection, I am finally embracing the money as a source of joy rather than a burden.
This Father’s Day commemorates my fifth year without my dad, forever causing a bittersweet feeling. However, this year will mark the first time I truly connect with and embrace the power of the inheritance my dad has left behind.
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