My ex-partner and I have an extraordinary bond when it comes to traveling. Our compatibility in terms of travel style and ability to tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies makes our journeys a delight. From exploring the scenic landscapes of Montana for four days to venturing into the wine country of Washington state, we have created unforgettable memories together. Despite our differences in desires and priorities, I genuinely enjoy his company and see no reason for that to change.
Recently, I found myself in an interesting predicament while on a perfectly romantic weekend getaway. However, my companion was not a boyfriend, but my ex, Jim. Surprisingly, we make exceptional travel companions even though we are no longer in a romantic relationship. During our trip, we fully immersed ourselves in the experience, channeling our alter egos from the show “Yellowstone” by indulging in whiskey and letting the occasional curse word slip. But I digress.
Before embarking on our adventure, my mother inquired if we were getting back together. Although my response may not have sounded convincing, I reassured her that our intentions were purely platonic. Little did she know, we planned to engage in deep and meaningful conversations into the early hours of the morning, share a room, and even coordinate our outfits for fancy dinners. Obviously, this raised some eyebrows, but we both knew our boundaries.
To clarify, when we travel together, we make sure to have separate beds in our shared room. However, about a year ago, shortly after our breakup, we encountered a situation in Walla Walla wine country where we could only find a suite with a single queen bed. As fate would have it, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. During the night, Jim had a mishap on his way back from the bathroom, unknowingly colliding with a nightstand. Worried about his well-being, I spent the rest of the night by his side, ensuring he was okay. Eventually, I convinced him to seek medical attention, which led to a comical encounter with the doctor. The memory of that incident still brings a smile to my face.
Reflecting on my mother’s query and the responses I received from others, including someone I went on a date with right before the trip, it became clear that our breakup had a unique dynamic. Despite the end of our romantic relationship, Jim and I somehow managed to maintain a connection that transcends the typical boundaries of former partners. We still enjoy numerous activities that defined our seven years together, leaving me pondering the significance of this peculiar bond. Perhaps this connection is one of the contributing factors to our current relationship statuses, a topic I intend to explore during my therapy sessions.
I consider myself fortunate to have such a strong friendship with Jim even after the end of our romantic involvement. In most cases, traveling with an ex-partner seems unfathomable. In fact, if I were to travel with my other exes, it would likely involve them being confined to the trunk of my car. Undoubtedly, they would have a similar sentiment. It is truly a challenge to find someone who shares your vacation preferences and doesn’t become tiresome after a mere 24 hours of repetitive conversations. Even my admiration for Dr. Phil would wane after a couple of days, and his endearing Southern quips would soon lose their charm.
Returning to our relationship, Jim and I thoroughly enjoy traveling together because we know what to expect from each other. We possess a shared travel style and happily embrace each other’s quirks. For instance, Jim understands that I have an ingrained tradition of packing at the last minute and panicking before every trip, causing delays. On the other hand, I am well aware that he will insist on stopping multiple times to clean the windshield, often using Windex. During our road trips, there is a harmonious balance when it comes to controlling the stereo. We seamlessly transition between belting out country tunes and engaging in thought-provoking political podcasts. Both of us prioritize coffee and crave the blissful coolness of air conditioning due to our body temperatures. Neither of us minds the occasional pit stop—a source of significant disagreement for many travel companions.
Moreover, Jim and I share a preference for luxurious accommodations and engage in minimal tourist activities, unless you count indulging in exquisite dining experiences. Our trips revolve around two simple pleasures—eating and drinking. Occasionally, I indulge in some shopping, and in those instances, I send Jim to the nearest bar. Our approach to travel is relaxed, spontaneous, and punctuated by observing people around us.
With all these incredible experiences in mind, why would I discard the opportunity to travel with someone who aligns with my preferences just because we are no longer romantically involved? Despite our differences that led to the end of our relationship, there are aspects that I still admire and cherish. Jim’s sense of humor, sincerity, and even his habit of making his own bed every morning in hotels are qualities I find endearing. As the saying goes, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” This sentiment perfectly encapsulates my perspective on my relationship with Jim. While being together as a romantic couple proved challenging for us, it would be a shame to relinquish the parts of our connection that brought immense joy. And one of those exceptional aspects has always been traveling together.
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