Care and Feeding, Slate’s parenting advice column, is here to help you navigate the challenges of raising children. For any questions or parenting concerns, you can submit them here or join the Slate Parenting Facebook group.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a minor dispute with my wife regarding our 8-year-old fraternal twin daughters, whom I’ll call “Annie” and “Zoe.” Last week, Annie suffered a leg fracture and will be in a wheelchair for at least the next four weeks. Though she wanted to go trick-or-treating on Halloween, she ended up staying home due to feeling unwell. Zoe went out with her friends and collected a lot of candy. Annie asked Zoe to share half of her candy, and Zoe reluctantly agreed. Now, Annie and Zoe are not getting along, and my wife is worried. I don’t think it’s a big deal, as they usually resolve their conflicts easily. Is it really necessary for us to intervene?
One-Halloween Altercations
Dear Altercations,
I wouldn’t suggest intervening unless the conflict persists. Most kids their age would respond similarly to Zoe’s reluctance to share her candy, and it’s essential for them to learn to resolve conflicts independently. If the argument continues, consider holding a family meeting to address everyone’s actions and discuss how to handle similar situations in the future.
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Dear Care and Feeding,
I made poor choices that led me to a difficult life until my mom convinced me to move back home, promising to support me through school. However, she recently made a comment about me moving away in 13 months, contradicting her previous promises. I’m considering taking my friend’s offer to be roommates, but I feel betrayed. What should I do?
California Dreading
Dear Dreading,
I believe your mom’s comment might have been a poorly executed joke, but the uncertainty may be causing you distress. It’s important to have an open conversation with your mom to clarify her comments and express your feelings. Running away hasn’t brought you any further, so consider confronting the situation head-on.
