I vividly remember the scene, sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair against the wall in a nondescript hospital meeting room. The blinds blocked the light, allowing us to focus on the slightly blurry slides projected for our weekly psychiatry lectures. The topic of the week was psychosis, and it was there that I discovered the alarming statistics regarding the risk of schizophrenia for any children I might have as a Black Caribbean migrant.
According to the lecturer, Black Caribbean people born in the UK were nine times more likely than their white British counterparts to develop schizophrenia. Additionally, those diagnosed with a psychotic illness had a life expectancy 15 years shorter than the UK average. These revelations shook me to the core and left me feeling outraged.
Among the disheartening facts shared by the lecturer, one snippet in particular stayed with me: living in a city nearly doubled the risk of developing a psychotic illness. This information struck me as significant because while I couldn’t control my children’s potential genes, the environment in which they would be born could greatly impact the course and length of their lives.
As time passed, the memory of that moment began to fade. I wasn’t in a rush to have children and didn’t encounter many Black Caribbean patients during my training or work as a consultant medical psychotherapist in various parts of the UK. However, those seemingly forgotten facts resurfaced when I became a mother.
At the time, we resided in a small terrace house in Oxford, devoid of a garden, amidst a labyrinth of backstreets. The perpetual twilight created by streetlights engulfed us, and the sound of buses and ambulance sirens permeated the air, lulling my first-born son to fitful sleep.
I had never envisioned myself living in the countryside. In Trinidad, I had a somewhat mythical, wild childhood, spending most of my time outdoors in the carefree company of other children within a close-knit suburban community. However, I had always been enamored by the allure of big cities. My first visit to New York left me captivated by the vibrant pulse of urban life, and I often daydreamed about residing in a chic Parisian apartment. As the years passed and I established roots in the UK, my vision of settling down always revolved around a city. It wasn’t just the appeal of city life, but also the feeling that the countryside, which symbolized the quintessential English ideal, wasn’t meant for someone like me.
Despite my concerns about encountering hostility and feeling like an outsider in the countryside, the well-being of my children took precedence over childhood fantasies and fears. When an unexpected opportunity arose for us to move to a small village in Somerset, I seized it, recalling the words from that lecture years ago. How urban their childhood was could be a crucial factor in my ability to shape their lives.
Since that lecture, the evidence has grown, revealing that the risk factor for psychosis isn’t as straightforward as city living versus rural living. The nuanced story centers around a sense of belonging, rootedness, and acceptance within a community.
I had worried that the countryside would feel unfamiliar and unwelcoming, but my family has been embraced here. In this seemingly different landscape from my own childhood, my children are experiencing a deeply familiar upbringing. They spend most of their time outdoors, exploring the nearby woods and building a den without constant adult supervision, yet feeling safer than ever before. Despite the challenges of recent years, they have become happier, more self-assured, and secure.
My hope is for them to continue feeling an unwavering sense of belonging as they grow, providing them with protection against unnecessary pain. I hope they develop a sense of home, grounded in their love for this new environment, just as I have.
The book “Uprooting: From the Caribbean to the Countryside – Finding Home in an English Country Garden” by Marchelle Farrell, published by Canongate, chronicles my journey and the transformative experience of relocating from the Caribbean to the English countryside.
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