We’re excited to announce that you can now listen to Fox News articles. Happy Wednesday, everyone! Tonight’s monologue is dedicated to our friends on the left who seem to be failing upwards. Leading the pack is Vice President Kamala Harris, who, according to a recent poll from NBC, has become the most unpopular VP in history. It’s quite the achievement, surpassing the likes of Al Gore, Joe Biden, and even Dick Cheney (yes, the one who famously shot a guy in the face). It just goes to show that when given the chance, women can be just as disappointing as men. Kamala truly is the Bud Light of vice presidents. Now, let’s take a look at a video of Kamala and Andy Bravo dancing. (Insert video)
That was an excruciating performance. I haven’t witnessed such forced laughter since Jimmy Kimmel hosted the Oscars. It was more uncomfortable than Hunter Biden bringing his daughter to work day. But even with Kamala’s abysmal approval ratings, she is still just a heartbeat away from the presidency. Although, let’s hope Joe Biden’s heart is still functioning because he doesn’t seem to be operating at full capacity anymore. Take, for instance, his recent comments about Putin. When asked about Putin’s weakened state, Biden responded by talking about the “war in Iraq” and losing at home. Yikes. We’re in deep trouble.
Despite all of this, the Democrats still want Kamala by the president’s side, perhaps in case he stumbles. At this point, she’s less of a vice president and more of a visiting angel. If only that were actually true. At least then, she would serve a purpose. Instead, she disappears for days or weeks, only to be found lacing Joe’s Ensure with Prestone in the kitchen. She’s like a cicada, emerging occasionally to make an annoying noise. Her own staff can’t stand her. She’s truly the Janice Dean of politicians. Just take a look at her gaffes and controversies.
It’s clear that Kamala’s chances of becoming president are increasing, despite her track record of failure. But shouldn’t we be rewarding success instead of rewarding failure? Look at Karine Jean-Pierre, the White House Press Secretary. She proudly claims to be historic, but that’s not something you should boast about. Being historic is something others should recognize in you. And yes, Karine, you are historic – the first press secretary to rely solely on the Fifth Amendment. And then there’s Pete Buttigieg, who oversaw a rise in crime during his time as mayor of South Bend. But all Biden cared about was that Buttigieg was married to a man.
And let’s not forget about the teachers’ unions and the havoc they wreaked on our schools. Our children are falling behind in education, yet Randi Weingarten, with no security background, is being considered for a position on Homeland Security’s School Safety Board. It’s absurd. But this seems to be a trend. When the rest of us fail, we face the consequences. But when those in power fail, their careers continue to thrive. Look at Anthony Fauci, who funneled money to a Chinese lab that likely created COVID. He’s now becoming a distinguished professor. It’s madness.
Similarly, former mayors Bill de Blasio and Lori Lightfoot are now teaching at Harvard. Can you imagine the crime rates in their classes? And Chesa Boudin, the fired S.F. D.A., went to Berkeley Law. It’s a pattern of rewarding failure. Academia has become a breeding ground for lefty failures who go on to produce more lefty failures. Meritocracy seems to be a lost concept. We need to reward success if we want our nation to thrive.
If, by some unfortunate circumstance, we end up with four more years of Kamala, at least we’ll always have the bongos.
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