During my four-year stint as a genealogical researcher for the TV show “Who Do You Think You Are?” and my work with private clients, I gained extensive experience in uncovering family history “revelations.” While I found the research process intriguing, I never truly understood the emotional reactions of individuals when they met distant relatives for the first time. My approach was always somewhat analytical and detached, presenting the findings and soliciting their thoughts.
Little did I know that my perspective would change when my dad’s cousin unearthed a file at the National Archives concerning my grandmother’s brother, Ernest Holloway Oldham. Intrigued, I decided to delve deeper into the matter once the file went digital. As soon as I laid eyes on the document, I was taken aback and thought, “Hold on – what is this?” Given that it was filed under MI5, I immediately entertained the idea of having a spy in our family tree.
The report disclosed that Oldham had been under surveillance, with intercepted messages and reports that made for gripping reading. However, the story took a drastic turn when he vanished. Obituaries in the newspapers revealed that he had tragically died, found with his head in a gas oven. It became evident that my great-uncle had been working as a Soviet spy, betraying his position in the Foreign Office during the 1920s and 30s, where he safeguarded British codes, and selling secrets to the Russians.
It was the moment when my grandparents became entwined in this narrative that the revelations truly hit me emotionally. Realizing I had a traitorous ancestor has been an overwhelming rollercoaster ride. At times, I have experienced disgust not only towards his espionage but also with regards to how he mistreated others, particularly his wife. There was substance abuse, domestic violence, and a multitude of transgressions. However, my sentiments continue to fluctuate as I focus on different aspects of the story.
The more I’ve delved into his background, the more compassion I feel towards him. I began to understand the circumstances that shaped his trajectory, starting from his humble upbringing in a small house in Edmonton as the son of teachers. He had been severely wounded in World War I and was passed over for promotion at the Foreign Office, where he always felt like an outsider navigating an upper-class, public-school environment. It’s impossible not to consider the despair that consumed him in his final days. He had made irrevocable mistakes, his world was collapsing, having been fired from his job, abandoned by his wife, pressured by the Russians, and reduced to a lonely existence in a hotel, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. He must have realized that if he surrendered to British authorities, he would likely face trial for treason and execution. On the other hand, continuing to be a pawn for the Russians would have ultimately resulted in his demise.
However, the moment it truly struck a chord with me was when my grandparents, the ones I knew and loved, became central figures in the story, connecting it to a long-standing mystery within my family. My dad fell seriously ill as a child, and on that fateful day, my uncle, only six years old at the time, was sent to check if he had died. For years, he couldn’t comprehend why his parents weren’t the ones to go. Through my research, I discovered that their absence was due to their attendance at Oldham’s coroner’s inquest, following his apparent suicide.
Before this personal journey, my excitement about genealogical discoveries mainly revolved around the process itself. While I understood that these findings held significance for individuals, it wasn’t until it happened to me that I truly grasped the emotional impact. This newfound empathy has transformed the way I approach my work with clients, moving away from a purely transactional research experience and adopting a more supportive approach. I now engage in conversations about personal stories, pay closer attention to emerging issues, and prepare individuals for potential revelations. In many ways, it feels like returning to the skills of a historian, empathizing with the past, offering interpretations, and forging connections across time and people. This personal exploration has profoundly sharpened my focus and renewed my passion for my research endeavors.
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