What would women desire if they didn’t have to face constant debates and scrutiny? The answer to that question is complex and varied. Recently, an anonymous Twitter account with a significant following, @AlpacaAurelius, shared a photo that sparked a lot of discussion. The image portrayed a stunning woman engaged in domestic activities, cooking while carrying a precious baby. The shot was perfectly composed, including fresh herbs and flowers, with an incredibly expensive stove in the background. The accompanying caption read, “ladies, theres [sic] nothing wrong with you if you want this over becoming a partner at a law firm.” The tweet quickly gained traction with 12 million views by Thursday.
The woman in the photo is Hannah Neeleman, a former ballerina and beauty pageant winner who held the title of Mrs. Utah in 2021. Alongside her husband and their seven children, she resides on a farm where they raise Berkshire pigs and Angus cattle. Neeleman has a significant online presence with 6.1 million followers on Instagram. While she doesn’t explicitly identify as a “trad wife,” her image resonated with the “trad” community online. This movement promotes a return to traditional gender roles, emphasizing a simpler way of life where women focus on homemaking while men are the primary breadwinners.
In contrast, popular culture often portrays an exciting and glamorous lifestyle for career-focused women, as evidenced by shows like “Sex and the City.” The notion of post-work cocktails and brunch with friends without the responsibility of children can seem enticing and liberating. However, the trad movement challenges this ideal, suggesting that even the women portrayed in these fictional narratives aren’t genuinely happy. In reality, women’s happiness has been declining for years, despite advancements in the women’s rights movement. As Naomi Schaefer Riley noted, a significant number of women between the ages of 40 and 59 rely on antidepressant medication, with a rate more than double that of men.
When “tradwives” capture attention in the media, it is often to criticize or mock their choices. These women are accused of glorifying sexism, while their husbands are portrayed as outdated individuals who desire submissive homemakers. The traditional lifestyle they embrace also contrasts with the prevalent roommate-style marriages that dominate our culture. In these marriages, mundane domestic tasks become sources of contention, such as washing dishes, folding laundry, and waking up with the baby. Within the trad culture, gender roles are clearly defined, making romantic love and harmony easier to achieve. The concept of “what is a woman?” doesn’t raise doubts here, as womanhood and motherhood are celebrated.
However, it is crucial to recognize that the carefully curated content shared online, including the picturesque image of a baking mother and child, only shows a fraction of the whole story. The reality of motherhood, regardless of whether one follows traditional roles or not, involves far more than idyllic scenes. There are moments of frustration, chaos, and exhaustion, such as yelling at children to do their homework or scrambling to find matching bottle lids while rushing to sports practices. This less photogenic reality often goes unnoticed.
Moreover, the current economic climate makes it challenging for many families to survive on a single income. While the idea of a wife happily tending to the home might be enticing, it is simply not feasible for a significant number of households. Women must navigate the complex landscape of choices and be appreciative of the options available, even if no single path is easy.
In conclusion, women’s desires and aspirations are diverse and multifaceted. The debate surrounding traditional and non-traditional roles highlights the complexities of personal choice. It’s essential to remember that sensationalized online depictions only show one side of the story, and the reality of life, particularly for women, involves navigating challenges and making difficult decisions. So, while it’s tempting to seek definitive answers, the truth remains that there is no simple or universally applicable solution for women.
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