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Wedding Expenses: What Should Parents Be Expected to Spend?
Published: 11:55 BST, 2 October 2023 | Updated: 12:26 BST, 2 October 2023
Weddings can be costly affairs, prompting the question of how much parents should be expected to contribute. One New Yorker turned to the Am I the A*****e subreddit seeking advice. He had initially promised to pay for his daughter’s wedding but was taken aback when he discovered she planned a luxurious celebration in New Zealand. The father found himself torn between indulging his daughter’s desires, leading to a strained relationship, and his belief that spending large sums of money on extravagant weddings is unnecessary. Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the father, labeling the daughter’s request as audacious and highlighting her entitled behavior.
The father expressed his dilemma, wondering if he should give in to his daughter’s request and spend a significant amount of money to make her dream wedding a reality. He acknowledged his shortcomings, referring to himself as “not the father of the year” and admitting to being a “spineless coward.” While he had agreed to cover the wedding expenses, he did not expect her to choose an expensive destination like New Zealand.
Reddit users were quick to express their astonishment at the $200,000 price tag, with one jokingly suggesting they would happily become the adopted daughter for a mere $5,000. Others chimed in, questioning the daughter’s motives and suggesting that she may want to flaunt her family’s wealth on social media. Practical concerns were raised as well, such as who would cover the costs for guests unable to attend the destination wedding. The father also highlighted the financial difficulties his family members would face, as some could not afford to travel to New Zealand or did not possess passports.
While some criticized the father for raising a spoiled and entitled daughter, others empathized with his situation. They acknowledged that many parents who grew up with less tend to overcompensate and inadvertently nurture unreasonable expectations in their children. Nevertheless, one sympathetic commenter reassured the father that he was not alone and should not feel bad, as many parents find themselves in similar situations.
Another Reddit user proposed a practical solution, suggesting that the father contribute an amount he feels comfortable with and allow the daughter to plan the wedding accordingly. This way, the father can still attend the wedding along with his wife, ensuring that they save some funds for their own expenses if the destination wedding does not happen. The commenter also highlighted the importance of considering the financial burden on other family members if they are expected to pay for their own travel expenses.
Ultimately, the decision rests with the father, who must carefully balance his daughter’s expectations against his own beliefs about extravagant weddings and the financial realities faced by his family and loved ones.
Share or comment on this article: I refused to pay for my daughter’s $200,000 wedding, and now she’s not speaking to me – but people say she’s ‘spoiled,’ and I’m right to say no
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