When this happens to me, I am usually so angry that I say nothing, but I seem unable to let it go. Is there anything that would be appropriate in response?
For the first, “You are right. That’s pretty offensive.”
Miss Manners realizes that the offender was, instead, asking for a pass to be offensive without consequences. Your response is to say that it has not been granted.
For the second, “I can see why you are sorry. I’m sorry, too.” End of discussion.
Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I invited four couples to be our guests for dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town. I wanted to use proper place cards, but my husband didn’t want to appear “stuffy.”
We greeted our guests near the entrance to our private dining room, which was close to the head of the table. One of our guests made a beeline to the other end of the table and sat at what should have been my place. I was going to say something, but Husband gently took my hand and signaled I should remain silent.
I found it difficult to smile and be polite while Husband’s friend took the lead in the conversation and acted as though he was the host of our party. Husband doesn’t understand why I’m so steamed and says, “It’s just a chair!” He said next time I should leave my purse in the chair to save it if it’s so important to me.
Where I come from, it’s common knowledge that the host and hostess sit at the ends of the dining table. To usurp the hostess’s chair would be a great show of disrespect for the hostess and an insult to the host. Such an act could easily cause a feud.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Has etiquette relaxed so much that guests can sit where they please without regard to their hosts?
Has etiquette relaxed so much that hosts don’t tell their guests where to sit? Oh, that’s right, you don’t want to appear stuffy. Miss Manners hears that word a lot from people who do not want to follow procedures that have been worked out to make things orderly.
Telling guests what arrangements you have made for their comfort — for example, a seating plan that puts potentially compatible people together — is not offensive. On the contrary. If you did not tell your guests where to sit
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Denial of responsibility! Vigour Times is an automatic aggregator of Global media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, and all materials to their authors. For any complaint, please reach us at – [email protected]. We will take necessary action within 24 hours.
